You go right ahead! Laugh and cackle to the point of losing your breath! Laughter has enormous amounts of health benefits ranging from affecting diabetes to lowering risks of heart attacks and everything in between!
In this modern world that we live in, full of medicinal remedies and medical breakthroughs, who would ever dream that something as simple as laughter could induce such amazing benefits to your health that could rival highly scientific compounds found in drugs of today?
The idea that laughter may have some serious benefits to our health may have been what spurned on many scientific research projects pertaining to the benefits of laughter on our bodies. Over the years, countless experiments have concluded with scientific data that laughter has one of the most astounding benefits for your health. We have heard about the positive impact animals and clowns have had on nursing home and terminally ill children. Scientists have taken that idea a step further. Experiments have been conducted on such things as type II Diabetes which is an increasing problem for many Americans today. A study done in Japan at the Foundation for Advancement of International Science, Bio-Laboratory, found that laughter helps regulate gene expression to help control type II Diabetes. This is a huge discovery. This means that laughter has such a homeopathic effect on even the gene expression on our DNA that perhaps if we were a happier sort the gene that causes type II Diabetes may possibly never be expressed. Granted, it will likely not take the place of insulin therapy, but it may be key in helping to prevent the disease.
Studies also suggest that laughter positively affects rheumatoid arthritis by affecting the level of the condition as well as psychological benefits in controlling stress and stress related conditions. Perhaps the biggest discovery, published by S. Karger AG, Basel, is that laughter is now being proven to alleviate some of the lasting effects of heart attacks such as less medication and fewer repeat attacks with humor therapy of just thirty minutes per day. Can you imagine the impact?
Go ahead and laugh. Point and giggle, do it with pride and do it for your health. You may be preventing Diabetes when you cackle aloud. You could be keeping yourself from having a heart attack or stroke when you belly laugh to the point of tears. It’s ok! It will be contagious and soon everyone around you will be laughing too. Life can sometimes be serious and tiring, but if you look around and can draw some laughter out of what may seem mundane you could possibly be helping your health. Learn a new joke and tell it to everyone you know no matter if you are a good joke teller or not! Join a Laughter Yoga class at your local ‘Y’ even! Go ahead, laugh! Your health can truly depend on it!
Monday, June 16, 2008
Squirrel Meat - Delicious but Deadly?
One of my favorite movies is National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. There is one particularly funny scene in which a squirrel has hitched a ride inside the Griswold house sequestered in the tree Clark has set up. The squirrel is discovered and makes a run for it, causing chaos and panic among the fleeing main characters.
Amid the confusion, Clark turns to his wife’s cousin Katherine and asks her, “Where is Eddie, doesn’t he eat these d?!$#% (expletive deleted) things?” She replies, “Not lately, he heard they are high in cholesterol.”
I have for some time taken that statement as truth. However, I have recently been doing research on the movie and came across this information.
According to the USDA nutrition database, 100 grams of “Game meat, squirrel, cooked, roasted” contains only 121 mg of cholesterol. This compares quite favorably to 1 cooked whole egg at 213 mg cholesterol, 1 cup of raw oysters at 120 mg. and one 5oz can of canned boneless chicken at 88mg. Most vegetable products, of course, contain little to no cholesterol.
This clearly shows that squirrel meat is no more laden with life stealing cholesterol than any other meat or dairy product.
How should one go about eating their squirrel bounty? Why, in Brunswick Stew naturally.
Literary humorist Roy Blount Jr. says of the dish, “Brunswick Stew is what happens when small mammals carrying ears of corn fall into barbeque pits."
For those of you not familiar with Brunswick Stew, it is a traditional dish normally prepared with small game including rabbit, dove, woodchuck, and last but not least squirrel.
The stew was first created and served in 1828 and named after the Virginia county in which it was conceived. Numerous excellent recipes are on the internet for Brunswick Stew; probably not a bad one in the bunch.
We can assume that Cousin Eddie would heartily approve of a nice squirrel based Brunswick Stew; especially around the holidays. If you are planning on hosting your own Christmas Vacation Holiday Party please consider making a tasty pot for your guests! As Eddie would say, “It is goooooood Clark!”
Amid the confusion, Clark turns to his wife’s cousin Katherine and asks her, “Where is Eddie, doesn’t he eat these d?!$#% (expletive deleted) things?” She replies, “Not lately, he heard they are high in cholesterol.”
I have for some time taken that statement as truth. However, I have recently been doing research on the movie and came across this information.
According to the USDA nutrition database, 100 grams of “Game meat, squirrel, cooked, roasted” contains only 121 mg of cholesterol. This compares quite favorably to 1 cooked whole egg at 213 mg cholesterol, 1 cup of raw oysters at 120 mg. and one 5oz can of canned boneless chicken at 88mg. Most vegetable products, of course, contain little to no cholesterol.
This clearly shows that squirrel meat is no more laden with life stealing cholesterol than any other meat or dairy product.
How should one go about eating their squirrel bounty? Why, in Brunswick Stew naturally.
Literary humorist Roy Blount Jr. says of the dish, “Brunswick Stew is what happens when small mammals carrying ears of corn fall into barbeque pits."
For those of you not familiar with Brunswick Stew, it is a traditional dish normally prepared with small game including rabbit, dove, woodchuck, and last but not least squirrel.
The stew was first created and served in 1828 and named after the Virginia county in which it was conceived. Numerous excellent recipes are on the internet for Brunswick Stew; probably not a bad one in the bunch.
We can assume that Cousin Eddie would heartily approve of a nice squirrel based Brunswick Stew; especially around the holidays. If you are planning on hosting your own Christmas Vacation Holiday Party please consider making a tasty pot for your guests! As Eddie would say, “It is goooooood Clark!”
Standup Comedians Its Not Just Jokes
Some people might say you are witty. When making a joke your friends seem to laugh. It seems it is something you take pleasure in doing and when people chuckle sometimes it is the ultimate prize. You believe you value comedy, and you should go to the next stage by becoming a professional comedian.
But, being a stand-up comic and comedian is a lot dissimilar than retelling a common joke and waiting for your friends to giggle. With comedy, you should be cognizant about the meeting, become knowledgeable about the stage, and write jokes that express a universal charm.
While being a comedian can be tough, on the contrary sometimes it is also worthwile. Here is some recommendations on what you should know to turn into a comedian.
Build up your personality. Think about all the popular comedians out there. Each lucrative comedian has something really critical about them. Chris Rock. Dave Chapelle. Adam Sandler. Dennis Miller. After a while you hear the names and, you can mindlessly imagine what they are, what they say, and exactly how and why you giggle.
Sometimes it is exaclty what you need to do. As a trainee, it might be a while before you find your personality. Test it in front of the public. Ask for reviews wherever possible. Refine and tweak your stage presence until you're content with the product.
There are quite a lot of diverse kinds of comedy. Knowing what they are should help you train fittingly. Do you prefer improv comedy, standup, or would you rather emotionalize in a comedy movie or a sitcom? Here are plenty of other options, too. Once you understand what style of comedy you would like to do, you can set objectives and amplify a plan that should help you achieve them.
Attend comedy classes. You will figure out and learn, standup or any extra forms of comedy don't come as expected. Sure, you can express the physical gift, skill of timing, etc. But, you also need help realizing the dissimilar styles of comedy and how to perfect and draw on them to your advantage.
When you go and take a comedy session, you can improve yourself and get some help from a master comedian. After learning everything the educational and the learning curve has been reduced, you will need to work together with fellow comedians and get reactions.
Put in writing and prepare your act in front of family. Attend standup amateur nights. Essentially, get as much familiarity as possible so youcan get comfortable in front of people. Practice in front of the mirror. By timing your act you can gage the amount of time you will need. Modify and correct your jokes until you get the entire act perfected. Once you complete all of this, you are content to start working in a club for payment.
Enter competitions. Entering competitions is a fantastic way of getting familiarity and to practice your routines in front of audience. When it hits it doesn't matter if you fancy standup or improv or something other, there are comedy competitions for it. You can join amateur internet talent shows. Yes alot of these may also enforce a prize. The benefit to this, is that agents may be lurking in the public looking to spot new talent.
But, being a stand-up comic and comedian is a lot dissimilar than retelling a common joke and waiting for your friends to giggle. With comedy, you should be cognizant about the meeting, become knowledgeable about the stage, and write jokes that express a universal charm.
While being a comedian can be tough, on the contrary sometimes it is also worthwile. Here is some recommendations on what you should know to turn into a comedian.
Build up your personality. Think about all the popular comedians out there. Each lucrative comedian has something really critical about them. Chris Rock. Dave Chapelle. Adam Sandler. Dennis Miller. After a while you hear the names and, you can mindlessly imagine what they are, what they say, and exactly how and why you giggle.
Sometimes it is exaclty what you need to do. As a trainee, it might be a while before you find your personality. Test it in front of the public. Ask for reviews wherever possible. Refine and tweak your stage presence until you're content with the product.
There are quite a lot of diverse kinds of comedy. Knowing what they are should help you train fittingly. Do you prefer improv comedy, standup, or would you rather emotionalize in a comedy movie or a sitcom? Here are plenty of other options, too. Once you understand what style of comedy you would like to do, you can set objectives and amplify a plan that should help you achieve them.
Attend comedy classes. You will figure out and learn, standup or any extra forms of comedy don't come as expected. Sure, you can express the physical gift, skill of timing, etc. But, you also need help realizing the dissimilar styles of comedy and how to perfect and draw on them to your advantage.
When you go and take a comedy session, you can improve yourself and get some help from a master comedian. After learning everything the educational and the learning curve has been reduced, you will need to work together with fellow comedians and get reactions.
Put in writing and prepare your act in front of family. Attend standup amateur nights. Essentially, get as much familiarity as possible so youcan get comfortable in front of people. Practice in front of the mirror. By timing your act you can gage the amount of time you will need. Modify and correct your jokes until you get the entire act perfected. Once you complete all of this, you are content to start working in a club for payment.
Enter competitions. Entering competitions is a fantastic way of getting familiarity and to practice your routines in front of audience. When it hits it doesn't matter if you fancy standup or improv or something other, there are comedy competitions for it. You can join amateur internet talent shows. Yes alot of these may also enforce a prize. The benefit to this, is that agents may be lurking in the public looking to spot new talent.
The New Yorker Magazine Joke Caption Contests
The New Yorker Magazine has long been famous for its well-illustrated jokes. The simple pencil line drawings are created by some of the top illustrators of jokes in the world, and although many of the magazines jokes have a peculiar and sometimes hard to catch sense of humor, they are nevertheless appreciated with laughter by millions of readers. And one of the magazine’s biggest merchandise items over the decades has been its annual joke collection books, which are usually sold as coffee table style books, desk calendars, or personal journals containing the best jokes of the year.
Then a few years ago the magazine took the unprecedented step of letting its readers make up the punch line captions for the jokes it publishes. Each week one illustration is printed – without any caption attached – and readers can compete to come up with the best one-liner caption to go with the picture. Then readers also get to vote on which caption they like the best, after a panel of judges helps to narrow down the top contenders. Eventually, one entry emerges as the winning line, and the person who submitted it is rewarded with seeing it published in the magazine. They are also given a framed copy of their joke of the week, as a keepsake memento of their winning moment of laughter.
Several jokes generally run at the same time on the reader entry page, and each of the jokes is in a different stage or phase of the contest’s progress toward picking a winner. If you were to pick up a copy of the magazine this week, it will show last week’s winner. Then it will show the three choices for next week’s winner, so that you can vote for the one that you think is the best. And the new joke illustration – shown with no captions – is presented on the page, with entry information so that you can make up a funny caption and email it or mail it to the editors for entry into the contest.
But in 2006 the magazine added another twist to the whole process, which surprised and dismayed some readers, while it made others happy and excited. They now advertise that if you want to have a framed cartoon of your own, just like the ones that the winners get to hang on their own den walls, you can. All you have to do is write a check for around $50, add your caption, and the magazine will send you a copy of the illustration with your own caption printed on it. Of course you don’t even have to be funny, because it is not going to be judged by anyone, which makes some readers skeptical of the whole idea. But for the magazine and those who like the fun of seeing their own name attached to a cartoon, the concept – which is essentially another way to sell magazine related merchandise – is a winner.
Then a few years ago the magazine took the unprecedented step of letting its readers make up the punch line captions for the jokes it publishes. Each week one illustration is printed – without any caption attached – and readers can compete to come up with the best one-liner caption to go with the picture. Then readers also get to vote on which caption they like the best, after a panel of judges helps to narrow down the top contenders. Eventually, one entry emerges as the winning line, and the person who submitted it is rewarded with seeing it published in the magazine. They are also given a framed copy of their joke of the week, as a keepsake memento of their winning moment of laughter.
Several jokes generally run at the same time on the reader entry page, and each of the jokes is in a different stage or phase of the contest’s progress toward picking a winner. If you were to pick up a copy of the magazine this week, it will show last week’s winner. Then it will show the three choices for next week’s winner, so that you can vote for the one that you think is the best. And the new joke illustration – shown with no captions – is presented on the page, with entry information so that you can make up a funny caption and email it or mail it to the editors for entry into the contest.
But in 2006 the magazine added another twist to the whole process, which surprised and dismayed some readers, while it made others happy and excited. They now advertise that if you want to have a framed cartoon of your own, just like the ones that the winners get to hang on their own den walls, you can. All you have to do is write a check for around $50, add your caption, and the magazine will send you a copy of the illustration with your own caption printed on it. Of course you don’t even have to be funny, because it is not going to be judged by anyone, which makes some readers skeptical of the whole idea. But for the magazine and those who like the fun of seeing their own name attached to a cartoon, the concept – which is essentially another way to sell magazine related merchandise – is a winner.
Laughing All the Way to Keep the Doctor Away
No one on earth would love to visit a doctor in all his sanity. But no matter how much we hate to knock at the Doc’s door, something or the other takes us right there. And the visits increase with age, as does the number of health problems. Now while it is true that doctors, treatments and medicines cannot be totally done away with, you can at least keep things within the limits of reason just by a smile or a grin every now and then. Helping your health shine with just a smile— well, if that sounded funny you can laugh alright, but it was not a jest by any means. On the contrary, health is indeed directly proportional to laughter.
The reasons are not hard to guess. Everyone likes to share humor, make merry or have fun. But what you might not know just as yet is that, the more you laugh and be happy, the less threat you pose to your health. No kidding this—fun, joy and humor are instrumental in uplifting the moral and physical health of a human being. Research says that the chances of a heart attack are reduced by huge degrees for those who laugh more than their fellows. Laughter therapists hold that laughter plays a huge role in today’s saga of survival. In the rat race of life, every little thing may lead to stress, anxiety, agitation or depression. The common antidote to all these is nothing but a hearty laugh.
One good thing about the laughter therapy to health is that people never get tired of excess. You can never possibly have enough of fun. If you love to laugh, you are all set to live a healthy stress-free life. And this may hold fine testimony to all success stories of humor or humorous pieces of work, be it in books or over the Internet. Take for instance the funny columns in books, magazines or your daily. Or the funny stuff you get online to tickle your funny bone. Didn’t you get hooked on to them for hours grinning ear to ear? And didn’t you manage to flip through them at least once even on a busy day? That is the where the ambrosia of survival lies.
Nowadays, the Internet is an endless source of humorous sites where people spend hours to do away with their boredom, or even when they are not bored. Voraciously reading jokes, watching funny videos or playing fun games they all knowingly or unknowingly ensure that they see the doctor less. However, the doctor or no doctor, who would mind a few gags and giggles to keep the spirits high? So be it. Laugh your heart out to be at the happy end of health.
The reasons are not hard to guess. Everyone likes to share humor, make merry or have fun. But what you might not know just as yet is that, the more you laugh and be happy, the less threat you pose to your health. No kidding this—fun, joy and humor are instrumental in uplifting the moral and physical health of a human being. Research says that the chances of a heart attack are reduced by huge degrees for those who laugh more than their fellows. Laughter therapists hold that laughter plays a huge role in today’s saga of survival. In the rat race of life, every little thing may lead to stress, anxiety, agitation or depression. The common antidote to all these is nothing but a hearty laugh.
One good thing about the laughter therapy to health is that people never get tired of excess. You can never possibly have enough of fun. If you love to laugh, you are all set to live a healthy stress-free life. And this may hold fine testimony to all success stories of humor or humorous pieces of work, be it in books or over the Internet. Take for instance the funny columns in books, magazines or your daily. Or the funny stuff you get online to tickle your funny bone. Didn’t you get hooked on to them for hours grinning ear to ear? And didn’t you manage to flip through them at least once even on a busy day? That is the where the ambrosia of survival lies.
Nowadays, the Internet is an endless source of humorous sites where people spend hours to do away with their boredom, or even when they are not bored. Voraciously reading jokes, watching funny videos or playing fun games they all knowingly or unknowingly ensure that they see the doctor less. However, the doctor or no doctor, who would mind a few gags and giggles to keep the spirits high? So be it. Laugh your heart out to be at the happy end of health.
Humor Audio Books: Infectious Laughter in the Air
Comedian David Brenner believes that if a person can laugh, he can live and so went on a national tour right after September 11. Humor is our best defense against bad hair days, aggressive pets, obnoxious bosses, traffic jams, even war and a bad economy. If you want humor read to you, then get a humor audiobook, play it and feel yourself float away for a while and then come back to a place where life is funnier, lighter and definitely better.
Most major internet audiobook sites carry humor audiobook titles, including Amazon, Barnes & Noble, as well as First-Class-Audiobooks. These sites offer specials and discounts on rentals and purchases with paid memberships, although books may be bought off most sites even without signing up.
To inject more humor into your life, why not check out these titles:
'Fierce Pajamas: Selections of Humor from an Anthology of Humor Writing from The New Yorker' This compilation of some of the best and funniest writings from the well-respected publication is edited by David Remnick (editor of The New Yorker and Pulitzer Prize winner) and Henry Finder (editorial director of The New Yorker). And it should be The New Yorker has practically defined comic writing and put it in a sophisticated class of its own. Spoofs and parodies are included in this humor audiobook along with short stories, reviews and some equally hilarious reporting.
'Worst Noel: Hellish Holiday Tales' Imagine five compact discs and six hours of some of the darkest humor involving one of the most loved holidays in the world. This humor audiobook features 18 stories from 18 writers, resulting to a diverse mix of dark holiday humor that can help you laugh away some holiday jitters and apprehension. Stories include 'That Just About Enough Figgy Pudding, Actually' by Catherine Newman, ''Twas the Bite Before Christmas' by Stanley Bing, 'The Jew Who Cooked a Ham for Christmas' by Neal Pollack and 'The Gift of the Magi Redux' by Binnie Kirshenbaum.
'Boomerang Joy: The Joy that Goes Around, Comes Around' by Barbara Johnson Johnson is a popular writer ('Stick a Geranium in Your hat and Be Happy') and speaker. This audiobook is a funny devotional and invites women to make small changes in their lives by spreading humor and laughter. More than a tell-a-joke how-to, this audiobook is an inspiring look at how laughter changes our lives for the better. If you're feeling tired and down, this is the audiobook that will bring joy back to your life.
'I Feel Bad about My Neck' by Nora Ephron What's a list of humor audiobooks without Nora Ephron? Her brand of disarming sense of humor is evident in some of her most famous work that made it in films: When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, Heartburn and You've Got Mail and it is also aplenty in this audiobook. From her days as an intern at the White House during the Kennedy years to her amorous adventures with Bill Clinton except that he doesn’t know anything about it.
Ephron's humor is totally absorbing and relatable. Who among us has not experienced the things and situations that she chronicles in her audiobook like bad work days and vain attempts at preserving youth, which is the reason for the title. This audiobook may seem a little of an elegy, but aging is handled well with Ephron's wry smile. A great gift to oneself or to a good friend, this audiobook is a frank and hilarious look at a certain period in one remarkable woman's life.
While on the subject of laughter, why not try 'Drive-By Comedy', a compilation of original material performed by the writers themselves George Carlin, Amy Sidaris, Paul Dinello, Margaret Cho, among others. If comedy were a whole cow, consider this audiobook as prime cut. Funny, relevant and timely observations of some of the comic industry's top comedians, this audiobook includes topics like childhood, modern life, love, sex and Flintstone vitamins put together in one of the best selections of original humor available.
Also worth checking: 'Double Whammy' by Carl Hiaasen, 'Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates' by Tom Robbins 'A Confederacy of Dunces' by John Kennedy Toole and 'The Pleasure of My Company' by Steve Martin, who also narrates. For topnotch entertainment try a humor audiobook today.
Most major internet audiobook sites carry humor audiobook titles, including Amazon, Barnes & Noble, as well as First-Class-Audiobooks. These sites offer specials and discounts on rentals and purchases with paid memberships, although books may be bought off most sites even without signing up.
To inject more humor into your life, why not check out these titles:
'Fierce Pajamas: Selections of Humor from an Anthology of Humor Writing from The New Yorker' This compilation of some of the best and funniest writings from the well-respected publication is edited by David Remnick (editor of The New Yorker and Pulitzer Prize winner) and Henry Finder (editorial director of The New Yorker). And it should be The New Yorker has practically defined comic writing and put it in a sophisticated class of its own. Spoofs and parodies are included in this humor audiobook along with short stories, reviews and some equally hilarious reporting.
'Worst Noel: Hellish Holiday Tales' Imagine five compact discs and six hours of some of the darkest humor involving one of the most loved holidays in the world. This humor audiobook features 18 stories from 18 writers, resulting to a diverse mix of dark holiday humor that can help you laugh away some holiday jitters and apprehension. Stories include 'That Just About Enough Figgy Pudding, Actually' by Catherine Newman, ''Twas the Bite Before Christmas' by Stanley Bing, 'The Jew Who Cooked a Ham for Christmas' by Neal Pollack and 'The Gift of the Magi Redux' by Binnie Kirshenbaum.
'Boomerang Joy: The Joy that Goes Around, Comes Around' by Barbara Johnson Johnson is a popular writer ('Stick a Geranium in Your hat and Be Happy') and speaker. This audiobook is a funny devotional and invites women to make small changes in their lives by spreading humor and laughter. More than a tell-a-joke how-to, this audiobook is an inspiring look at how laughter changes our lives for the better. If you're feeling tired and down, this is the audiobook that will bring joy back to your life.
'I Feel Bad about My Neck' by Nora Ephron What's a list of humor audiobooks without Nora Ephron? Her brand of disarming sense of humor is evident in some of her most famous work that made it in films: When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, Heartburn and You've Got Mail and it is also aplenty in this audiobook. From her days as an intern at the White House during the Kennedy years to her amorous adventures with Bill Clinton except that he doesn’t know anything about it.
Ephron's humor is totally absorbing and relatable. Who among us has not experienced the things and situations that she chronicles in her audiobook like bad work days and vain attempts at preserving youth, which is the reason for the title. This audiobook may seem a little of an elegy, but aging is handled well with Ephron's wry smile. A great gift to oneself or to a good friend, this audiobook is a frank and hilarious look at a certain period in one remarkable woman's life.
While on the subject of laughter, why not try 'Drive-By Comedy', a compilation of original material performed by the writers themselves George Carlin, Amy Sidaris, Paul Dinello, Margaret Cho, among others. If comedy were a whole cow, consider this audiobook as prime cut. Funny, relevant and timely observations of some of the comic industry's top comedians, this audiobook includes topics like childhood, modern life, love, sex and Flintstone vitamins put together in one of the best selections of original humor available.
Also worth checking: 'Double Whammy' by Carl Hiaasen, 'Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates' by Tom Robbins 'A Confederacy of Dunces' by John Kennedy Toole and 'The Pleasure of My Company' by Steve Martin, who also narrates. For topnotch entertainment try a humor audiobook today.
How to Be Funny Without Telling Jokes
Here is how to find humor in not-so-funny stuff. Before long, you will have people laughing a lot at your presentation without telling jokes. Below are some ways to get people to laugh.
Steps
1.Set the scene for laughter. If you want to lighten up your program, you might want to let the audience know this, even before you say one word. Project some lighthearted visuals as the audience is entering the room. Play some uplifting music as they enter. Or, add some humor to your presentation title or program description. Your bio, for example, can have a list of accomplishments, playfully followed by "His mother is very proud of him."
2.Poke fun at yourself. Again, even before you open your mouth, you can show the audience that you do not take yourself too seriously by adding some playful things about you in your introduction. For example, have the introducer tell the audience that you are the author of seven books which have sold well over 30 copies. Then the person corrects their mistake and says, "Oops, that is 300,000 copies."
3.Get some laughs with a prop. It has been said that learning is enhanced with visual aids. If this is true, then speakers need to enhance their talks with something to visually illustrate what they are saying. A prop is a great way to do this because it not only makes your message memorable but it can also get a laugh. Use balloons to illustrate how people can let go of their stress; an inflatable globe to illustrate how we often carry the world around on our shoulders; and a plastic hammer with which to hit yourself on the head when you goof up. All make a point and all get a laugh.
4.Tell your humorous stories. Open your humor eyes and ears and look and listen for the funny things that happen all around you. Families are an especially good resource for finding humorous stories. One such story involves the author's 93-year-old mother. Every time she goes to the doctor, she hires a van service to take her there and back. One late afternoon, it did not show up to take her home. Since the doctor had to close the office for the day, he suggested that she wait for the van in the pizza parlor next door. After waiting a long time without the van arriving, she went up to the counter and asked, "Do you deliver?" When the man behind the counter replied, "Of course, we do. We're a pizza place." She said, "Great. Then I'd like a pepperoni pizza and I'd like to go with it."
5.Borrow some witty words. While waiting for your own humor-related stories to appear, you might want to borrow some funny short quotes from famous people to lighten up your talks. Quotation books, the TV, newspapers, and magazines such as Reader's Digest are great resources for locating great quotes. For instance, if you frequently speak to hospice groups, Woody Allen's comments about death and dying are appropriate (e.g., "There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?").
6.Collect audience anecdotes. Sometimes audiences say the funniest things. When they do, write it down. It could be a big laugh in your next presentation. For years, I have been asking audiences, "How do you spell relief?" My answer is "L-A-U-G-H". Then one day a woman in the back row called out, "D-I-V-O-R-C-E." It got a huge laugh for her that day and continues to get a laugh for me when I retell it.
7.Remember the bottom line. For non-humorists, some of the ideas presented here may seem too frivolous for your subject matter. Nevertheless, I would still encourage you to seek some way of upping the entertainment value of your talks because it might also increase what you can charge. As Steve Allen once noted, "People will pay more to be entertained than educated."
8.Make it relevant. One final word about using humor in your presentations--make sure it is relevant. Amusing an audience for the sake of getting a laugh might be ideal for a stand-up comedian or an after-dinner humorist but it's probably not okay for most speakers. If your humor does not make a point or have a purpose, do not use it!
Tips
When speaking to a group of people, sweep the room with your eyes so that everybody pays attention to you In sweeping the room, periodically make eye contact for a few moments with one person, then with another - don't appear too animated and speak to that person as though they were the whole room, then break contact and look at someone else. In Powerpoint presentations or similar situations, use crudely drawn pictures you threw together in MS Paint (or similar program). Make it quite obvious that you are not an artist with stick figures, incoherent blobs, and poorly drawn simple pictures, all with the brush tool. No predefined shapes, text tools, or anything of that sort. The idea of this is that you threw this picture together in paint in 30 seconds. Present it as you would any other slide, starting off with "this diagram I put together..." or anything that mentions that you did it.
Warnings
Be careful while poking fun at yourself (step 2). If you do it, do it without losing credibility, or else no one will take the rest of your presentation seriously. Do not dress funny for, let's say a presentation. That is a surefire way for people not to take what you say seriously. You should be able to make people laugh and still get your message across. If you look like a clown you will be perceived as a clown.
Steps
1.Set the scene for laughter. If you want to lighten up your program, you might want to let the audience know this, even before you say one word. Project some lighthearted visuals as the audience is entering the room. Play some uplifting music as they enter. Or, add some humor to your presentation title or program description. Your bio, for example, can have a list of accomplishments, playfully followed by "His mother is very proud of him."
2.Poke fun at yourself. Again, even before you open your mouth, you can show the audience that you do not take yourself too seriously by adding some playful things about you in your introduction. For example, have the introducer tell the audience that you are the author of seven books which have sold well over 30 copies. Then the person corrects their mistake and says, "Oops, that is 300,000 copies."
3.Get some laughs with a prop. It has been said that learning is enhanced with visual aids. If this is true, then speakers need to enhance their talks with something to visually illustrate what they are saying. A prop is a great way to do this because it not only makes your message memorable but it can also get a laugh. Use balloons to illustrate how people can let go of their stress; an inflatable globe to illustrate how we often carry the world around on our shoulders; and a plastic hammer with which to hit yourself on the head when you goof up. All make a point and all get a laugh.
4.Tell your humorous stories. Open your humor eyes and ears and look and listen for the funny things that happen all around you. Families are an especially good resource for finding humorous stories. One such story involves the author's 93-year-old mother. Every time she goes to the doctor, she hires a van service to take her there and back. One late afternoon, it did not show up to take her home. Since the doctor had to close the office for the day, he suggested that she wait for the van in the pizza parlor next door. After waiting a long time without the van arriving, she went up to the counter and asked, "Do you deliver?" When the man behind the counter replied, "Of course, we do. We're a pizza place." She said, "Great. Then I'd like a pepperoni pizza and I'd like to go with it."
5.Borrow some witty words. While waiting for your own humor-related stories to appear, you might want to borrow some funny short quotes from famous people to lighten up your talks. Quotation books, the TV, newspapers, and magazines such as Reader's Digest are great resources for locating great quotes. For instance, if you frequently speak to hospice groups, Woody Allen's comments about death and dying are appropriate (e.g., "There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?").
6.Collect audience anecdotes. Sometimes audiences say the funniest things. When they do, write it down. It could be a big laugh in your next presentation. For years, I have been asking audiences, "How do you spell relief?" My answer is "L-A-U-G-H". Then one day a woman in the back row called out, "D-I-V-O-R-C-E." It got a huge laugh for her that day and continues to get a laugh for me when I retell it.
7.Remember the bottom line. For non-humorists, some of the ideas presented here may seem too frivolous for your subject matter. Nevertheless, I would still encourage you to seek some way of upping the entertainment value of your talks because it might also increase what you can charge. As Steve Allen once noted, "People will pay more to be entertained than educated."
8.Make it relevant. One final word about using humor in your presentations--make sure it is relevant. Amusing an audience for the sake of getting a laugh might be ideal for a stand-up comedian or an after-dinner humorist but it's probably not okay for most speakers. If your humor does not make a point or have a purpose, do not use it!
Tips
When speaking to a group of people, sweep the room with your eyes so that everybody pays attention to you In sweeping the room, periodically make eye contact for a few moments with one person, then with another - don't appear too animated and speak to that person as though they were the whole room, then break contact and look at someone else. In Powerpoint presentations or similar situations, use crudely drawn pictures you threw together in MS Paint (or similar program). Make it quite obvious that you are not an artist with stick figures, incoherent blobs, and poorly drawn simple pictures, all with the brush tool. No predefined shapes, text tools, or anything of that sort. The idea of this is that you threw this picture together in paint in 30 seconds. Present it as you would any other slide, starting off with "this diagram I put together..." or anything that mentions that you did it.
Warnings
Be careful while poking fun at yourself (step 2). If you do it, do it without losing credibility, or else no one will take the rest of your presentation seriously. Do not dress funny for, let's say a presentation. That is a surefire way for people not to take what you say seriously. You should be able to make people laugh and still get your message across. If you look like a clown you will be perceived as a clown.
Black Humor; live with it!
Black Humor: This is the type of stuff that doesn't quite make the Darwin's but leaves the participant alive. In my findings, if it doesn't kill you, it's funny. Let me elaborate; as you have no doubt seen some of the horrendous accidents portrayed in the evening news, each of which I think to myself what were they thinking about. It's clear to me that they aren't thinking about what they are doing. Let me tell you of one such case I heard several years ago. Several guys were sitting around on the back porch, drinking beer as sometimes guys will do. They were also shooting 22's at anything that moved. They had been doing so for some time as the local wildlife lay strewn about the place along with the empty beer cans when one of the drunken participants spotted a skunk. Now if you know anything about skunks you know that they are not the perfect prey; they shoot back and although a direct hit by the skunk will not kill, it does take awhile to explain to your significant other the events of your day. I digress; back to the story. The skunk avoided the first 100 to 200 rounds fired by the drunken lot and eventually found haven within a culvert placed in the ground at some angle enabling the skunk to travel back and down in the ground out of the reach of the drunken group. One of the drunkards decided to get the skunk to voluntarily leave his haven by smoking him out. So the drunkards start stuffing the culvert with dried grass and newspaper and lit it afire. The skunk however did not relinquish his hiding space, he stayed in the culvert. The drunkards then thought that because of the angle of the culvert that the smoke had likely not reached the skunk so they decided to make another attempt by pouring gasoline into the culvert. They gathered up the 5 gallon gas can and poured the entire contents into the culvert. Having the gas poured in they attempted to ignite the gas by throwing lit matches into the culvert after the gasoline. The lit matches would burn out before igniting the gas and so one of the drunkards, specifically the one that this black humor is written about, decided the best method of igniting the gasoline would be to climb into the culvert prior to igniting the match, so down he goes. At last he gets the gasoline ignited and what happens next is a thing of beauty. I will paraphrase the newswoman's interview with witnesses. "He came out of that culvert like he was shot from a cannon, with his hair on fire, leaving a smoke trail that went from the culvert, over the back porch the drunkards had been enjoying all afternoon into the front yard where he lay, clothing smoldering, hair gone and burnt to second and third degree burns about his face and upper torso." Now that's funny!
Bizarre Humor; I can't believe that just happened!
Bizarre Humor: Bizarre humor is one of those things that when the event is completed you are left with the question, "what was that all about." I would like to share one such event that occurred in my life just recently.I was on vacation with my family (parents, brother and nephew) in the area of Newport, Oregon on a two week fishing venture. We have all enjoyed going to the coast for many years now and this particular trip was no exception. We arrived at the coast about the same time as some of the most enjoyable weather we had ever encountered; the seas were as calm as I have ever seen them; you could have water-skied on the ocean, it was that calm. We spent the first few days going fishing with a charter company and had caught our limits each day; they made it look so easy. So on the fourth day my brother and I decided to rent a small 14 foot motorboat with a 10 horsepower engine; we were going to try it ourselves. When we rented the boat I had to sign a rental agreement containing the rules for operating the boat. We were in a hurry so I didn't read the agreement in its entirety or we would have known that this boat was restricted to the bay. The coast guard also has requirements for boats that exit the bay for the open ocean, which we were not in compliance with. This trip was not starting out well but we were oblivious. We took our time and headed out to the mouth of the bay, setting our crab pots on the way and fishing where the fish finder showed fish to be below the boat. We didn't receive a single bite and assumed the fish were not biting inside the bay. We continued on out of the mouth of the bay and into the open ocean where the fish finder showed many more fish, thinking that we would have to catch something. We didn't receive any bites to our bait and thought we might be doing something wrong, little did we know. After several hours of fishing with no bites coming we decided to just sit and enjoy the view from the little boat before we headed back to the docks. While we were looking about, we happened to see the coast guard helicopter buzzing around overhead and thought it strange that they would spend so much time in one area where no one was plainly in any distress. We found out latter that they were trying to tell us to go back to the docks… Well, we had a couple of hours left on the boat rental, so we just sat their drinking our beer watching the ocean for any signs of life. That's when I saw the duck coming. It was flying about three feet off the surface of the water and was on what looked like a collision course with our little boat. Now I have hunted ducks back in Idaho where I live and I know that ducks can see very well. This duck however didn't change his course and was getting closer to our boat at a very quick rate of speed. I kept looking at the duck thinking that he is able to see us sitting their and he would alter his course prior to reaching our boat; that didn't happen! I yelled at the last second "Oh $hit" as the duck plowed right into the left side of my brother's head and then careened up-side down and backwards into the ocean with his eyes wide open in terror, it was apparent he had not seen us at all.. My brother had not seen any of this transpire as he was watching my eyes widen with disbelief when the duck struck him. He thought that I had somehow whacked him on the side of the head and looked perplexed as to how I could have done so while he watched me. We both watched as the duck regained his composure and flew off a little dazed she jerked back and forth as he went leaving my brother and I thinking "what was that all about."
Twisted Humor; Socks won't cover this up!
Twisted Humor: Twisted humor is one of those things that at the end may seam funny to some folks but to the one who bears the brunt of this type of humor is left with his or her life changed forever. You have heard no doubt, of the aftereffects of some of these humorous situations but were not privy to what actually occurred to facilitate the life change. Let me share with you one such story told to me by my friend John, in his words. I awoke one day several years ago on my birthday. Now birthdays around our house are a big event. The festivities usually start in the morning with the entire family (My wife, 3 Kids and one dog) in bed with the birthday-boy hollering heckles about the aged old man. This ritual usually ended with the kids fixing breakfast and the wife and I enjoying some of the comforts of our physical relationship. But this day was different; I awoke to what appeared to be a normal morning ritual where they were all doing there own thing, getting ready for their respective days. It appeared as though they had forgotten it was my birthday. I began to get terribly depressed but continued on. I quickly prepared for work and left for the office expecting the group I work with to have something big prepared for my birthday as they usually did. I arrived at work and found that my co-workers had also disappointed me, there were no birthday streamers and cake as usual. I slipped further into depression as I thought that turning 50 would have brought out the party poppers and ribbons. It had become a very bad day. Latter in the morning my secretary Denise, who was 35 and built for pleasure, asked me "what has you so down this morning." I explained that it was my birthday and all of my family and friends had forgotten it, leaving me very depressed. Felling badly about forgetting my birthday she volunteered to take me to lunch. I declined but Denise insisted so we left at one to have lunch. I suggested several restaurants but Denise insisted on taking me to her apartment instead where she indicated she wanted me all to herself. When we arrived at Denise's apartment, she led me to the wet bar and asked me to make us both a stiff drink. We took our drinks to the living room and visited for a time about the plight of her last failed relationship. She indicated the next time she entered into a relationship it would be with an older gentleman about my age, possibly me. She asked to be excused for a moment while she went to the bedroom to slip into something more comfortable. I was getting excited as I thought she was coming on to me and thinking I might get lucky I waited for her return. My mind began to race excitedly thinking about what might happen next. I began to undress and prepare for her return. I arranged the throw over the love seat and got comfortably naked and waited. After some time she exited her room with loud shouts of happy birthday followed by my wife, mother in law, kids and the guys and gals from my office, all shouting happy birthday and their I sat with nothing on but my socks.Woops!Now that's funny!
Bad Jokes for April Fools' Day
April 1st is a wonderful day when we are free to make jokes, pranks and gags on our relatives, friends and colleagues. However, the question is; why is it that human nature provokes us to laugh at the expense of others like we do on April Fools’ Day?
Let's observe the typical structure of a joke. It consists of two "messages" or, in general, "impacts". The first one is usually used to transfer some kind of misleading information to a person. At this point the information looks like a simple truth that people have no reason to doubt. Therefore a person begins to believe this information is really true. At the moment when a person puts absolute truth in new information the second "impact" is made. It usually contains contrary information, somewhat like this: "Relax, it is just a joke".
This kind of joke is harmful to a person’s mental state because each of us has his/her own "picture of reality". The information, which is in conflict with our "picture", enforces us to make certain efforts to change that "picture". This process is quite unpleasant, especially when a very important part of the "picture" needs to be changed. So, that is why jokes may be very harmful, even if done with best intentions.
At that, it doesn't matter how "good" or "bad" the first "message" (or "impact") is. Here is an example:
1st message: - Hello Mary! Did you know your husband died?
2nd message: - Relax it is just an April 1st joke.
If Mary loves her husband, then the first message is a shock for her. Even the second message cannot compensate her stress. If Mary hates her husband, then the first message may even cause her to be delighted. But the second message immediately “turns off” her delight. Regardless the April 1st joke provokes a person to feel strong emotions which are later taken away from them.
Here is another very bad April 1st joke.
In connection with all these considerations the only acceptable jokes are those, which we all remember from our school years. For example, placing a sticker on a person’s back or singing a song whilst altering the words to parody news current news topics.
Let's observe the typical structure of a joke. It consists of two "messages" or, in general, "impacts". The first one is usually used to transfer some kind of misleading information to a person. At this point the information looks like a simple truth that people have no reason to doubt. Therefore a person begins to believe this information is really true. At the moment when a person puts absolute truth in new information the second "impact" is made. It usually contains contrary information, somewhat like this: "Relax, it is just a joke".
This kind of joke is harmful to a person’s mental state because each of us has his/her own "picture of reality". The information, which is in conflict with our "picture", enforces us to make certain efforts to change that "picture". This process is quite unpleasant, especially when a very important part of the "picture" needs to be changed. So, that is why jokes may be very harmful, even if done with best intentions.
At that, it doesn't matter how "good" or "bad" the first "message" (or "impact") is. Here is an example:
1st message: - Hello Mary! Did you know your husband died?
2nd message: - Relax it is just an April 1st joke.
If Mary loves her husband, then the first message is a shock for her. Even the second message cannot compensate her stress. If Mary hates her husband, then the first message may even cause her to be delighted. But the second message immediately “turns off” her delight. Regardless the April 1st joke provokes a person to feel strong emotions which are later taken away from them.
Here is another very bad April 1st joke.
In connection with all these considerations the only acceptable jokes are those, which we all remember from our school years. For example, placing a sticker on a person’s back or singing a song whilst altering the words to parody news current news topics.
15 Short Funny Quotes for Humor Month
April is "Humor Month" and the very first day of this very month is loved by pranksters and jokers everywhere. To honor this comical time of year, we're fondly revisiting fifteen short funny quotes that are sure to light smiles everywhere.
1. "The Internet is a great way to get on the Net." ~ Bob Dole
2. "Ugliness is better than beauty. It lasts longer and in the end, gravity will get us all." ~ Johnny Depp
3. "On cable TV they have a weather channel - 24 hours of weather. We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window." ~ Dan Spencer
4. "When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." ~ Mae West
5. "A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain." ~ Robert Frost
6. "There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva." ~ Josh Groban
7. "I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." ~ Woody Allen
8. "Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special." ~ Chris Rock
9. "The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits." ~ Albert Einstein
10. "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception." ~ Groucho Marx
11. "People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." ~ Anonymous
12. "When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half." ~ Gracie Allen
13. "If at first you don't succeed, blame someone else and seek counseling." ~ Erma Bonbeck
14. "My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So for today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M and a chocolate cake. I feel better already." ~ Dave Barry
15. "Procrastination is like a credit card; it's a lot of fun until you get the bill." ~ Christopher Parker
Here's to a wonderful Humor Month! I hope you've enjoyed these short funny quotes. May your April be filled with laughter (and may you be lucky enough to have fewer April pranks played on you than you play on others). Remember, laughter is the best medicine and he who laughs loudest wins!
1. "The Internet is a great way to get on the Net." ~ Bob Dole
2. "Ugliness is better than beauty. It lasts longer and in the end, gravity will get us all." ~ Johnny Depp
3. "On cable TV they have a weather channel - 24 hours of weather. We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window." ~ Dan Spencer
4. "When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." ~ Mae West
5. "A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain." ~ Robert Frost
6. "There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva." ~ Josh Groban
7. "I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." ~ Woody Allen
8. "Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special." ~ Chris Rock
9. "The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits." ~ Albert Einstein
10. "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception." ~ Groucho Marx
11. "People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." ~ Anonymous
12. "When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half." ~ Gracie Allen
13. "If at first you don't succeed, blame someone else and seek counseling." ~ Erma Bonbeck
14. "My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So for today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M and a chocolate cake. I feel better already." ~ Dave Barry
15. "Procrastination is like a credit card; it's a lot of fun until you get the bill." ~ Christopher Parker
Here's to a wonderful Humor Month! I hope you've enjoyed these short funny quotes. May your April be filled with laughter (and may you be lucky enough to have fewer April pranks played on you than you play on others). Remember, laughter is the best medicine and he who laughs loudest wins!
16 Mark Twain Quotes for Humor Month
There are some things that can be said about all Mark Twain quotes, regardless of which one it is you're referring to. One, they're witty. Yes, Mr. Twain was one witty character. Two, they bring a smile to your face. Whether you're smiling because you think it's funny or you're smiling because you completely relate (even if a bit embarassingly), Mark Twain quotes can crack a grin on the most stoic of faces.
Here are 16 Mark Twain quotes to get you smiling during Humor Month (April).
1. "Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more."
2. "Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
3. "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
4. "A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds."
5. "Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."
6. "But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?"
7. "Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live."
8. "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
9. "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."
10. "Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please."
11. "Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it."
12. "Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first."
13. "A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read."
14. "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you, too, can become great."
15. "A man who carries a cat by the tail is getting experience that will always be helpful. He isn't likely to grow dim or doubtful. Chances are, he isn't likely to carry the cat that way again, either. But if he wants to, I say let him!"
16. "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do... Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
Mark Twain was one of America's true treasures. Not often is it that we can find a man who can touch us so deeply with the written word. Inspiration, reflection, humility, confidence, wisdom, and (of course) laughter -- Mark Twain quotes can give us all of this and more.
Here are 16 Mark Twain quotes to get you smiling during Humor Month (April).
1. "Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more."
2. "Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
3. "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
4. "A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds."
5. "Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."
6. "But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?"
7. "Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live."
8. "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
9. "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."
10. "Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please."
11. "Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it."
12. "Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first."
13. "A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read."
14. "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you, too, can become great."
15. "A man who carries a cat by the tail is getting experience that will always be helpful. He isn't likely to grow dim or doubtful. Chances are, he isn't likely to carry the cat that way again, either. But if he wants to, I say let him!"
16. "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do... Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
Mark Twain was one of America's true treasures. Not often is it that we can find a man who can touch us so deeply with the written word. Inspiration, reflection, humility, confidence, wisdom, and (of course) laughter -- Mark Twain quotes can give us all of this and more.
18 Funny Friendship Quotes To Make You Laugh
No one can make you laugh quite the way your friends can, and there's nothing like sharing a few funny friendship quotes with those closest to you to make your day shine a bit brighter.
Here are 18 of my favorite funny friendship quotes to share with those you love. I hope you enjoy these funny friendship quotes as much as I like sharing them with you!
1. "A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer
2. "There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money." ~ Benjamin Franklin
3. "Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy." ~ Spike Milligan
4. "A true friend stabs you in the front." ~ Oscar Wilde
5. "Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police." ~ Anonymous
6. "An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body." ~ Jim Hayes
7. "Give me one friend, just one, who meets the needs of all my varying moods." ~ Esther M. Clark
8. "Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice." ~ Anonymous
9. "I have lost friends, some by dath, others through sheer inability to cross the street." ~ Virginia Woolf
10. "Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate." ~ Thomas Jones
11. "I got a lotta best friends. Some o' them I don't even hardly know!" ~ Archie Bunker
12. "It takes a long time to grow an old friend." ~ John Leonard
13. "We must hang together, or surely we shall hang separately." ~ Benjamin Franklin
14. "Friends are God's ways of apologizing for our families." ~ Anonymous
15. "Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected." ~ Charles Lamb
16. "You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes." ~ Winnie the Pooh
17 "Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life." ~ Mark Twain
18. "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one." ~ C.S. Lewis
As you can see, funny friendship quotes are a great way to remember what makes our friendships so special and our friends so dear. Share a few of these funny friendship quotes with the friends who make your life a brighter and your days a delight.
Here are 18 of my favorite funny friendship quotes to share with those you love. I hope you enjoy these funny friendship quotes as much as I like sharing them with you!
1. "A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer
2. "There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money." ~ Benjamin Franklin
3. "Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy." ~ Spike Milligan
4. "A true friend stabs you in the front." ~ Oscar Wilde
5. "Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police." ~ Anonymous
6. "An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body." ~ Jim Hayes
7. "Give me one friend, just one, who meets the needs of all my varying moods." ~ Esther M. Clark
8. "Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice." ~ Anonymous
9. "I have lost friends, some by dath, others through sheer inability to cross the street." ~ Virginia Woolf
10. "Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate." ~ Thomas Jones
11. "I got a lotta best friends. Some o' them I don't even hardly know!" ~ Archie Bunker
12. "It takes a long time to grow an old friend." ~ John Leonard
13. "We must hang together, or surely we shall hang separately." ~ Benjamin Franklin
14. "Friends are God's ways of apologizing for our families." ~ Anonymous
15. "Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected." ~ Charles Lamb
16. "You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes." ~ Winnie the Pooh
17 "Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life." ~ Mark Twain
18. "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one." ~ C.S. Lewis
As you can see, funny friendship quotes are a great way to remember what makes our friendships so special and our friends so dear. Share a few of these funny friendship quotes with the friends who make your life a brighter and your days a delight.
15 Funny Quotes To Celebrate Joke Day
If laughter is the best medicine, then funny quotes are my prescription of choice. After all, who couldn't use a good laugh or two? Help spread the Joke Day celebration and share these 15 funny quotes with a few good friends.
1. "Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac." ~ George Carlin
2. "Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded." ~ Tim Allen
3. "I drive a V10 Ford Excursion and I have to tell folks all the time: look I've got five kids and a dog and birds. I would have to have two Lincolns with two V8s, you see, so it would be 16 cylinders." ~ Dan Aykroyd
4. "Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!" ~ George Carlin
5. "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." ~ Jim Carrey
6. "Have you ever been in therapy? No? You should try it. It's like a really easy game show where the correct answer to every question is: 'Because of my mother.'" ~ Robin Greenspan
7. "Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue." ~ Scott Adams
8. "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!" ~ Dave Barry
9. "Politicians are interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs." ~ PJ O'Rourke
10. "Insanity is hereditary: You can get it from your children." ~ Sam Levinson.
11. "An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor's cute then forget the fruit!" ~ Bumper sticker quote
12. The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits. ~ Albert Einstein
13. "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." ~ Mark Twain
14. "The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you." ~ Rita Mae Brown
15. "USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population." ~ David Letterman
As Carlos Mencia says... "If you ain't laughing, you ain't living." This month, why not take life a little less seriously and laugh a little more. At the very least, share these funny quotes on Joke Day and crack a few grins with your friends.
1. "Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac." ~ George Carlin
2. "Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded." ~ Tim Allen
3. "I drive a V10 Ford Excursion and I have to tell folks all the time: look I've got five kids and a dog and birds. I would have to have two Lincolns with two V8s, you see, so it would be 16 cylinders." ~ Dan Aykroyd
4. "Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!" ~ George Carlin
5. "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." ~ Jim Carrey
6. "Have you ever been in therapy? No? You should try it. It's like a really easy game show where the correct answer to every question is: 'Because of my mother.'" ~ Robin Greenspan
7. "Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue." ~ Scott Adams
8. "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!" ~ Dave Barry
9. "Politicians are interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs." ~ PJ O'Rourke
10. "Insanity is hereditary: You can get it from your children." ~ Sam Levinson.
11. "An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor's cute then forget the fruit!" ~ Bumper sticker quote
12. The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits. ~ Albert Einstein
13. "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." ~ Mark Twain
14. "The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you." ~ Rita Mae Brown
15. "USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population." ~ David Letterman
As Carlos Mencia says... "If you ain't laughing, you ain't living." This month, why not take life a little less seriously and laugh a little more. At the very least, share these funny quotes on Joke Day and crack a few grins with your friends.
16 Funny Quotes to Celebrate National Smile Week
If there's one thing funny quotes can do well, it's make us smile and laugh. So what better time to whip out some of the funniest quotes ever than during National Smile Week? Don't get left behind during this fun time of year! Get in on the fun and celebration and share these 16 funny quotes with friends and family so they can enjoy National Smile Week with you.
1. "Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space." ~ Evan Esar
2. "Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it." ~ Jane Wagner
3. "Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult." ~ Author Unknown
4. "When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them." ~ George Bernard Shaw
5. "Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious." ~ Brendan Gill
6. "Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes." ~ Jack Handey
7. "The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too." ~Samuel Butler
8. "I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did." ~ Jeff Foxworthy
9. "The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on." ~ Robert Bloch
10. "Tact is the art of making guests feel at home when that's really where you wish they were." ~ George E. Bergman
11. "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies." ~ Groucho Marx
12. "Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana.... The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are." ~ Matt Lauer
13. "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." ~ Steven Seagal
14. "No matter how love sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along." ~ Joyce Brothers
15. "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." ~ Vice President Al Gore
16. "People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid." ~ Soren Aabye Kierkegaard
Laughing yet? I'm sure you've at least cracked a smile or two. Remember, life without smiles and laughter is like a movie without a script or soundtrack -- pretty much pointless. During National Smile Week, share these 16 funny quotes and do your part to make sure humor touches the lives of everyone you meet.
1. "Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space." ~ Evan Esar
2. "Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it." ~ Jane Wagner
3. "Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult." ~ Author Unknown
4. "When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them." ~ George Bernard Shaw
5. "Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious." ~ Brendan Gill
6. "Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes." ~ Jack Handey
7. "The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too." ~Samuel Butler
8. "I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did." ~ Jeff Foxworthy
9. "The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on." ~ Robert Bloch
10. "Tact is the art of making guests feel at home when that's really where you wish they were." ~ George E. Bergman
11. "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies." ~ Groucho Marx
12. "Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana.... The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are." ~ Matt Lauer
13. "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." ~ Steven Seagal
14. "No matter how love sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along." ~ Joyce Brothers
15. "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." ~ Vice President Al Gore
16. "People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid." ~ Soren Aabye Kierkegaard
Laughing yet? I'm sure you've at least cracked a smile or two. Remember, life without smiles and laughter is like a movie without a script or soundtrack -- pretty much pointless. During National Smile Week, share these 16 funny quotes and do your part to make sure humor touches the lives of everyone you meet.
14 Inspirational Quotes to Celebrate Wiggle Your Toes Day
August 6th is Wiggle Your Toes Day and what better way to celebrate than with some inspirational quotes that will have you kicking off your shoes and letting those toes loose? As crazy as it may sound, wiggling your toes can be good for the body and soul. Don't believe me? These 14 inspirational quotes may just change your mind.
1. "The human foot is a masterpiece of engineering and a work of art." ~ Leonardo da Vinci
2. "Think of the magic of that foot, comparatively small, upon which your whole weight rests. It's a miracle, and the dance...is a celebration of that miracle." ~ Martha Washington
3. "Dancing is the poetry of the foot." ~ John Dryden
4. "You will never stub your toe standing still. The faster you go, the more chance there is of stubbing your toe, but the more chance you have of getting somewhere." ~ Charles F. Kettering
5. "My mother told me I was dancing before I was born. She could feel my toes tapping wildly inside her for months." ~ Ginger Rogers
6. "Earth's crammed with heaven, And every common bush afire with God: But only he who sees takes off his shoes." ~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning
7. "Angels cry because they want to experience what you and I feel: the moment. They live in eternity. They don't know what it is like to read a newspaper and get ink on your fingers. They don't know what it is like to take your shoes off and wiggle your toes under the dinner table." ~ Carlos Santana
8. "Stretching his hand up to reach the stars, too often man forgets the flowers at his feet." ~ Jeremy Bentham
9. "Stretch your feet according to your blanket." ~ Turkish Proverb
10. "The island is a one-stop shop for wilderness and outdoor adventure. You can get your feet dirty by day and be pampered at night." ~ Claire Ellis
11. "What a wonderful beautiful thing, to wiggle your toes." ~ Dalton Trumbo
12. "The best things in life are nearest: Breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of right just before you. Then do not grasp at the stars, but do life's plain, common work as it comes, certain that." ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
13. "Ten fingers, ten toes. She's laughter and teardrops. So small and brand new and amazingly angelic. She's sent to bless you. She's one special baby. The best of life's treasure and will grant and bless you many hours of great pleasure." ~ Author Unknown
14. "I recall fondly, as a kid, ... when my dad would hyperextend my big toe playing the 'This Little Piggy Went to Market' game. I don't recall it hurting, and I'm pretty sure I didn't miss a football game, or a game of 'Kick the Can,' for that matter, because of it." ~ Jeff Fisher
Wiggling your toys may seem like a small, silly and inconsequential task; however, never underestimate the power of a good toe tension release. These inspirational quotes are a wonderful reminder of the big roles our little toes play in our daily lives.
1. "The human foot is a masterpiece of engineering and a work of art." ~ Leonardo da Vinci
2. "Think of the magic of that foot, comparatively small, upon which your whole weight rests. It's a miracle, and the dance...is a celebration of that miracle." ~ Martha Washington
3. "Dancing is the poetry of the foot." ~ John Dryden
4. "You will never stub your toe standing still. The faster you go, the more chance there is of stubbing your toe, but the more chance you have of getting somewhere." ~ Charles F. Kettering
5. "My mother told me I was dancing before I was born. She could feel my toes tapping wildly inside her for months." ~ Ginger Rogers
6. "Earth's crammed with heaven, And every common bush afire with God: But only he who sees takes off his shoes." ~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning
7. "Angels cry because they want to experience what you and I feel: the moment. They live in eternity. They don't know what it is like to read a newspaper and get ink on your fingers. They don't know what it is like to take your shoes off and wiggle your toes under the dinner table." ~ Carlos Santana
8. "Stretching his hand up to reach the stars, too often man forgets the flowers at his feet." ~ Jeremy Bentham
9. "Stretch your feet according to your blanket." ~ Turkish Proverb
10. "The island is a one-stop shop for wilderness and outdoor adventure. You can get your feet dirty by day and be pampered at night." ~ Claire Ellis
11. "What a wonderful beautiful thing, to wiggle your toes." ~ Dalton Trumbo
12. "The best things in life are nearest: Breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of right just before you. Then do not grasp at the stars, but do life's plain, common work as it comes, certain that." ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
13. "Ten fingers, ten toes. She's laughter and teardrops. So small and brand new and amazingly angelic. She's sent to bless you. She's one special baby. The best of life's treasure and will grant and bless you many hours of great pleasure." ~ Author Unknown
14. "I recall fondly, as a kid, ... when my dad would hyperextend my big toe playing the 'This Little Piggy Went to Market' game. I don't recall it hurting, and I'm pretty sure I didn't miss a football game, or a game of 'Kick the Can,' for that matter, because of it." ~ Jeff Fisher
Wiggling your toys may seem like a small, silly and inconsequential task; however, never underestimate the power of a good toe tension release. These inspirational quotes are a wonderful reminder of the big roles our little toes play in our daily lives.
A Scrapbooking Page Idea Can Be Inspired From Any Situation
Time and tide wait for none is a saying that holds true for all of us. In spite of our best efforts it is not possible to hold on to the good times and so with the passage of time we see our infancy grow into childhood, adolescence, youth, adulthood and finally old age. The only option left with us would be to try and keep records of the good old days gone by. One of the best ways to preserve fond memories is through photographs. Somehow in spite of the video recording facility available in today’s world the charm of old photographs still manages to hold its place in our hearts. An interesting way to keep the photographs rather than simply putting them in an album is to implement the idea of scrapbooking. Scrapbooking as an activity can offer multiple options and design ideas and a scrapbooking page idea can come from a host of inspirations.
A vast selection of scrapbooking ideas can be accessed from workshops or “crops”, craft stores, scrapbooking businesses and of course, online. A scrapbooking page idea is available with scrapbooking albums, layouts, quotes, stickers, and other products. Scrapbooking kits and scrapbooking embellishments are also filled with various scrapbooking page ideas for implementation. A scrapbooking page idea website can be browsed to explore a multitude of scrapbooking layouts, information and scrapbooking tips for the experienced scrapbooking hobbyist and the scrapbooking novice.
The most recent and increasingly most popular hobby across the nation, scrapbooking has taken craft stores by quite a surprise with its incredible demand. To meet this phenomenal demand, a scrapbooking page idea can be discovered in books, magazines, online and other scrapbooking sources for the hobbyist’s need. A scrapbooking page idea image can be accessed to view several scrapbook layouts and ideas in comprehensive detail. The scrapbooking pages will offer a sample of the scrapbook layouts, scrapbook page layouts and a scrapbooking page idea or two. The beginner scrapbooking enthusiast may want to learn how to scrapbook. Thus, a scrapbooking page idea can be added to one’s scrapbooking creativity.
Other scrapbooking hobbyists may even want to meet up with you to discuss scrapbooking layouts, advise the best places to purchase supplies and talk about scrapbooking cardstock. The scrapbooking page idea can result from these discussions and be a first step to an exciting journey of scrapbooking. One example of a scrapbooking page idea is layered lettering. This can certainly add interest to page titles in your scrapbook. The scrapbooking page idea with this innovative technique affords the letters to coordinate with the scrapbook theme of the page. Your scrapbook title can instantly become an integral part of the entire layout and your scrapbooking page idea by following a few simple steps. So, maybe its time to get together a couple of friends and do some brainstorming for a perfect scrapbooking page idea. Once the basic thought is in process, the rest of the steps will be easy to follow. Once you are confident about your capabilities and creativity it could open up a whole new world for you.
A vast selection of scrapbooking ideas can be accessed from workshops or “crops”, craft stores, scrapbooking businesses and of course, online. A scrapbooking page idea is available with scrapbooking albums, layouts, quotes, stickers, and other products. Scrapbooking kits and scrapbooking embellishments are also filled with various scrapbooking page ideas for implementation. A scrapbooking page idea website can be browsed to explore a multitude of scrapbooking layouts, information and scrapbooking tips for the experienced scrapbooking hobbyist and the scrapbooking novice.
The most recent and increasingly most popular hobby across the nation, scrapbooking has taken craft stores by quite a surprise with its incredible demand. To meet this phenomenal demand, a scrapbooking page idea can be discovered in books, magazines, online and other scrapbooking sources for the hobbyist’s need. A scrapbooking page idea image can be accessed to view several scrapbook layouts and ideas in comprehensive detail. The scrapbooking pages will offer a sample of the scrapbook layouts, scrapbook page layouts and a scrapbooking page idea or two. The beginner scrapbooking enthusiast may want to learn how to scrapbook. Thus, a scrapbooking page idea can be added to one’s scrapbooking creativity.
Other scrapbooking hobbyists may even want to meet up with you to discuss scrapbooking layouts, advise the best places to purchase supplies and talk about scrapbooking cardstock. The scrapbooking page idea can result from these discussions and be a first step to an exciting journey of scrapbooking. One example of a scrapbooking page idea is layered lettering. This can certainly add interest to page titles in your scrapbook. The scrapbooking page idea with this innovative technique affords the letters to coordinate with the scrapbook theme of the page. Your scrapbook title can instantly become an integral part of the entire layout and your scrapbooking page idea by following a few simple steps. So, maybe its time to get together a couple of friends and do some brainstorming for a perfect scrapbooking page idea. Once the basic thought is in process, the rest of the steps will be easy to follow. Once you are confident about your capabilities and creativity it could open up a whole new world for you.
Fact Is Funnier Than Comedy
When I need a chuckle, I try to watch a sitcom or read the funnies. When my need for comedy is greater, then I invest my time in watching a complete movie. But when nothing but the funniest will do, I just observe the so-called real world around me.
The fact that this is really happening makes all the weird stuff all the more funny. To begin with, one tends to have a basic expectation of common sense from people. But the word common is misleading, as most often what we would classify as common sense is fairly uncommon.
What? Are you having trouble believing me? Well just turn to the weird news section of any newspaper or portal web site. Honestly, I used to think that all this was just made up. But I finally got to meet some of the people in these real world snafus and became a believer.
What would you say of the owner who claims that her cat dialed 911 thereby calling the police in time to save her life? Or the person who called Nine One One and claimed to not be able to find the Eleven button on his phone, thereby not being able to call Nine-Eleven, Or the bank robber who had his name prominently labeled across the motor bike helmet he wore to a bank? If I keep extending this list, you will soon get convinced that I am making this up as I am going along.
I am reminded of the words of Ernest Hemingway when we would sit on the steps of, whatever he sat on the steps of, and "see the world walk by." Well, Hemingway and I share that in common, except that it seems like I am more entertained than Hemingway was, as I do not just see the world walk by, but also make a fool of itself all along the way.
So, when you feel that things are all so sad and boring, just look around. Do not bother about reading a joke book. Instead consider reading a news paper. Knowing what happened when a duck went to the bar and asked for a drink can be fun the first time you hear it. Responding to a "Knock Knock" can be fun the first hundred times you hear it. But, a constant, evergreen, and "unreal" source of chuckles is the real world.
It is no wonder then that movie makers spend time, energy, and money in including bloopers at the end of all movies. Many people claim that these bloopers are more fun than the actual movie.
The fact that this is really happening makes all the weird stuff all the more funny. To begin with, one tends to have a basic expectation of common sense from people. But the word common is misleading, as most often what we would classify as common sense is fairly uncommon.
What? Are you having trouble believing me? Well just turn to the weird news section of any newspaper or portal web site. Honestly, I used to think that all this was just made up. But I finally got to meet some of the people in these real world snafus and became a believer.
What would you say of the owner who claims that her cat dialed 911 thereby calling the police in time to save her life? Or the person who called Nine One One and claimed to not be able to find the Eleven button on his phone, thereby not being able to call Nine-Eleven, Or the bank robber who had his name prominently labeled across the motor bike helmet he wore to a bank? If I keep extending this list, you will soon get convinced that I am making this up as I am going along.
I am reminded of the words of Ernest Hemingway when we would sit on the steps of, whatever he sat on the steps of, and "see the world walk by." Well, Hemingway and I share that in common, except that it seems like I am more entertained than Hemingway was, as I do not just see the world walk by, but also make a fool of itself all along the way.
So, when you feel that things are all so sad and boring, just look around. Do not bother about reading a joke book. Instead consider reading a news paper. Knowing what happened when a duck went to the bar and asked for a drink can be fun the first time you hear it. Responding to a "Knock Knock" can be fun the first hundred times you hear it. But, a constant, evergreen, and "unreal" source of chuckles is the real world.
It is no wonder then that movie makers spend time, energy, and money in including bloopers at the end of all movies. Many people claim that these bloopers are more fun than the actual movie.
Enjoy These Useless Facts And Fun Trivia Questions And Answers
Question: Which is stronger -- concrete or bone?
Answer: Bone
Useless Fact: Human bones can actually resist 40 times more stress than concrete. Don't believe it is true? Then picture a piece of concrete the size of a bone and imagine how easily it would break.
Question: What bird lays its egg in another bird's nest?
Answer: Cuckoo, Cowbird, Whyda, Honeyguide and Black-headed Duck
Useless Fact: These birds, called brood parasites, lay their eggs in another bird's nest and let the other bird parents feed and raise their chicks. The "egg abandoner" is then free to mate again and lay more eggs in another nest. The cuckoo is the best known brood parasite and an expert in the art of cruel deception. Its strategy involves stealth, surprise and speed. The mother removes one egg laid by the host mother, lays her own and flies off with the host egg in her bill. The whole process takes barely ten seconds. Cuckoos parasitize the nests of a large variety of bird species and carefully mimic the colour and pattern of their own eggs to match that of their hosts. Each female cuckoo specializes on one particular host species. How the cuckoo manages to lay eggs to imitate each host's eggs so accurately is one of nature's main mysteries.
Question: What is the largest invertebrate?
Answer: Colossal Squid
Useless Fact: A species of squid reported to be significantly larger than the giant squid, is called the Colossal squid, officially named Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni. In February 2007 a live colossal squid was brought to the surface in Antarctic waters by a New Zealand fishing boat. This enormous squid, which was determined to be a male of the species, was 10 meters (32.8 feet), and weighed 450 kilograms (992 pounds), making it the largest squid (the largest invertebrate) ever captured. What is even more astonishing is that, from what scientists know about squid species in general, there is great sexual dimorphism in squids, with females being significantly larger than the males. If that holds true for the Colossal squid, this male specimen that was captured could very well be dwarfed by a much larger female of the species.
Question: What does the first letter of a radio station's call sign mean?
Answer: The location of the station
Useless Fact: Generally, in the United States, call signs begin with K west of the Mississippi River, and W to the east.
Question: Where was the first McD0nald's located?
Answer: Arcada, California
Useless Fact: Brothers Dick and Mac McDonald open a hot dog stand called the Airdome in Arcadia, California. In 1940, the brothers move to San Bernardino, California, on Route 66. After noting that almost all of their profits came from hamburgers, the brothers close down the restaurant for several months in 1948 to implement their innovative "Speedee Service System", a streamlined assembly line for hamburgers.
Question: What is the largest insect?
Answer: Acteon Beetle or Longhorn Beetle
Useless Fact: There are different ways of measuring the size of an insect, most people would consider the largest insect to be the bulkiest and in that case the largest insect is the Acteaeom Beetle from South America. The male beetles can be 9cms long by 5cms wide by 4cms thick. If you want to measure largest by overall size, check out the South American Longhorn Beetle (Titanus giganteus) these giants can be over 16cms in body length (not including antennae) One other beetle, Dynastes hercules is also well known for reaching 16cms in length though it is not nearly as heavy. The longest insect in the world is the Stick-Insect (Pharnacia serritypes), the females of which can be over 36cm long.
Answer: Bone
Useless Fact: Human bones can actually resist 40 times more stress than concrete. Don't believe it is true? Then picture a piece of concrete the size of a bone and imagine how easily it would break.
Question: What bird lays its egg in another bird's nest?
Answer: Cuckoo, Cowbird, Whyda, Honeyguide and Black-headed Duck
Useless Fact: These birds, called brood parasites, lay their eggs in another bird's nest and let the other bird parents feed and raise their chicks. The "egg abandoner" is then free to mate again and lay more eggs in another nest. The cuckoo is the best known brood parasite and an expert in the art of cruel deception. Its strategy involves stealth, surprise and speed. The mother removes one egg laid by the host mother, lays her own and flies off with the host egg in her bill. The whole process takes barely ten seconds. Cuckoos parasitize the nests of a large variety of bird species and carefully mimic the colour and pattern of their own eggs to match that of their hosts. Each female cuckoo specializes on one particular host species. How the cuckoo manages to lay eggs to imitate each host's eggs so accurately is one of nature's main mysteries.
Question: What is the largest invertebrate?
Answer: Colossal Squid
Useless Fact: A species of squid reported to be significantly larger than the giant squid, is called the Colossal squid, officially named Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni. In February 2007 a live colossal squid was brought to the surface in Antarctic waters by a New Zealand fishing boat. This enormous squid, which was determined to be a male of the species, was 10 meters (32.8 feet), and weighed 450 kilograms (992 pounds), making it the largest squid (the largest invertebrate) ever captured. What is even more astonishing is that, from what scientists know about squid species in general, there is great sexual dimorphism in squids, with females being significantly larger than the males. If that holds true for the Colossal squid, this male specimen that was captured could very well be dwarfed by a much larger female of the species.
Question: What does the first letter of a radio station's call sign mean?
Answer: The location of the station
Useless Fact: Generally, in the United States, call signs begin with K west of the Mississippi River, and W to the east.
Question: Where was the first McD0nald's located?
Answer: Arcada, California
Useless Fact: Brothers Dick and Mac McDonald open a hot dog stand called the Airdome in Arcadia, California. In 1940, the brothers move to San Bernardino, California, on Route 66. After noting that almost all of their profits came from hamburgers, the brothers close down the restaurant for several months in 1948 to implement their innovative "Speedee Service System", a streamlined assembly line for hamburgers.
Question: What is the largest insect?
Answer: Acteon Beetle or Longhorn Beetle
Useless Fact: There are different ways of measuring the size of an insect, most people would consider the largest insect to be the bulkiest and in that case the largest insect is the Acteaeom Beetle from South America. The male beetles can be 9cms long by 5cms wide by 4cms thick. If you want to measure largest by overall size, check out the South American Longhorn Beetle (Titanus giganteus) these giants can be over 16cms in body length (not including antennae) One other beetle, Dynastes hercules is also well known for reaching 16cms in length though it is not nearly as heavy. The longest insect in the world is the Stick-Insect (Pharnacia serritypes), the females of which can be over 36cm long.
How to Find Good Jokes Anywhere
How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Anyway, there is a whole bunch of ways to find good jokes for just about any occasion. It is really just a question of who your audience is going to be. Canon printer geeks go to conventions, politicians go to their lobbyist. Get it? Politicians/ lobbyists… well there’s no accounting for taste. So, head for the people that you want to make fun of. Most people have a pretty good sense of humor and are ready to laugh at themselves.
What are 10,000 lawyers buried up to their heads in sand? Not enough sand. Of course books are always a good place to look. But really, finding a good joke is about being in the right place at the right time. The best jokes really just sort of happen. Not all of us are Robin Williams’s types that can write the stuff.
The real trick to finding a good joke is finding the right place and audience to tell the joke. A joke intended for somebody facing 10 years in prison is not the joke to be telling a Rabbi on the mount. Oh, did you hear about the Priest the Monk and the Rabbi who went into a bar? This is for Blonde …ah…readers that are still thinking about the first eight words at the start of this article. Oh, and that is all of the fingers on your right hand and all but the pinky and wedding ring finger on the left hand.
So, where were we? Audience, the type of people you are around will dictate the type of joke you get. A men’s locker room will get one type of joke while a bridal shower will get another type of joke. What did Jesus say to the little short guy after he banked his golf ball off of a tree, two bids and a squirrel for a hole in one? Nice shot Dad.
Poking fun also works well if a little competition is going on. If there is a wide perception about a group of people, regardless of how big that group happens to be, there are likely going to be jokes floating around about that group. Competing schools for instance; what happened when Joe, the football player, transferred from UCLA to USC? The GPA for both schools went up. And now, to complete the running gag for blondes, the answer to; how do you keep blondes in suspense is.
What are 10,000 lawyers buried up to their heads in sand? Not enough sand. Of course books are always a good place to look. But really, finding a good joke is about being in the right place at the right time. The best jokes really just sort of happen. Not all of us are Robin Williams’s types that can write the stuff.
The real trick to finding a good joke is finding the right place and audience to tell the joke. A joke intended for somebody facing 10 years in prison is not the joke to be telling a Rabbi on the mount. Oh, did you hear about the Priest the Monk and the Rabbi who went into a bar? This is for Blonde …ah…readers that are still thinking about the first eight words at the start of this article. Oh, and that is all of the fingers on your right hand and all but the pinky and wedding ring finger on the left hand.
So, where were we? Audience, the type of people you are around will dictate the type of joke you get. A men’s locker room will get one type of joke while a bridal shower will get another type of joke. What did Jesus say to the little short guy after he banked his golf ball off of a tree, two bids and a squirrel for a hole in one? Nice shot Dad.
Poking fun also works well if a little competition is going on. If there is a wide perception about a group of people, regardless of how big that group happens to be, there are likely going to be jokes floating around about that group. Competing schools for instance; what happened when Joe, the football player, transferred from UCLA to USC? The GPA for both schools went up. And now, to complete the running gag for blondes, the answer to; how do you keep blondes in suspense is.
Sweet Trivia Question And Answer.
1. Chocolate is made from cocoa beans. But where do cocoa beans grow?
A. On trees
B. On bushes
C. On vines
D. On roots
A. On trees
TOPICS: Cocoa beans come from cacao trees that grow in tropical regions of the world
2. During World War II, production of Hershey’s Kisses was halted. Do you know why?
A. Chocolate shortage
B. Sugar shortage
C. Aluminum foil shortage
D. Hershey's produced rations instead of candy during the war
C. Aluminum foil shortage
TOPICS: During World War II, production of Hershey’s Kisses was halted. Not because of a shortage of chocolate, but because the signature aluminum foil packaging was rationed.
3. Where could the babe that the Baby Ruth candy bar was named for be found at the time?
A. Yankee Stadium
B. Hollywood
C. Broadway
D. Washington, D.C.
D. Washington, D.C.
TOPICS: The Baby Ruth was named after the first child born in the White House - Ruth - who was born to President Grover Cleveland in 1891 and later died in 1904. The candy manufacturer strongly denies any association with the famous Yankee.
4. What candy bar was included in U.S. solders' rations during World War II?
A. PayDay
B. Heath Bar
C. Snickers
D. Twix
B. Heath Bar
TOPICS: Heath bars were included in U.S. soldiers' rations during World War II because they had been found to have a very long shelf life. Originally marketed as a health food, the Heath bar was advertising as using only the finest ingredients. One early ad read: "Heath for better health!"
5. Where was milk chocolate invented?
A. England
B. America
C. Switzerland
D. France
C. Switzerland
TOPICS: A Swiss chocolate maker, Daniel Peter, mixes Henri Nestle's condensed milk with chocolate and the two men found a company to manufacture the first milk chocolate.
6. What candy bar was originally packaged to include three separate pieces of candy flavored vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry?
A. Twix
B. Mounds
C. Mars
D. 3 Musketeers
D. 3 Musketeers
TOPICS: When it was first introduced in 1932, the 3 Musketeers bar was packaged to include three separate pieces of candy flavored vanilla, chocolate and strawberry -- thus the name THREE Musketeers. Causing some confusion to tourists worldwide, the 3 Musketeers bar is called a Milky Way in European countries, and the U.S. version of the Milky Way is called a Mars Bar.
7. Aztec emperor Montezuma drank 50 golden goblets of hot chocolate every day. What special flavoring did he add?
A. Vanilla
B. Coffee
C. Chili pepper
D. Blood
C. Chili pepper
TOPICS: It was thick, dyed red and flavored with chili peppers.
8. Where do Hershey’s Kisses get their name?
A. Their inventor
B. Their flavor
C. Their shape
D. Their sound
D. Their sound
TOPICS: Hershey’s Kisses get their name from the sound and motion of the machines that produce them. It looks and sounds as if the machine is kissing the conveyor belt as it moves along.
9. What flavor is the oldest gum still available today?
A. Licorice
B. Cherry
C. Spearmint
D. Clove
A. Licorice
TOPICS: The oldest gum still available is licorice-flavored Blackjack Chewing Gum. It was first introduced in 1872 and was the first flavored gum in the United States.
10. What candy bar was named after its inventor's family horse?
A. Twix
B. Pay Day
C. Snickers
D. Almond Joy
C. Snickers
TOPICS: Originally introduced in 1929 by Frank and Ethel Mars, the Snickers bar was named after their family horse. The original Snickers bars were sold for a nickel and consisted primarily of chocolate, peanuts and caramel.
A. On trees
B. On bushes
C. On vines
D. On roots
A. On trees
TOPICS: Cocoa beans come from cacao trees that grow in tropical regions of the world
2. During World War II, production of Hershey’s Kisses was halted. Do you know why?
A. Chocolate shortage
B. Sugar shortage
C. Aluminum foil shortage
D. Hershey's produced rations instead of candy during the war
C. Aluminum foil shortage
TOPICS: During World War II, production of Hershey’s Kisses was halted. Not because of a shortage of chocolate, but because the signature aluminum foil packaging was rationed.
3. Where could the babe that the Baby Ruth candy bar was named for be found at the time?
A. Yankee Stadium
B. Hollywood
C. Broadway
D. Washington, D.C.
D. Washington, D.C.
TOPICS: The Baby Ruth was named after the first child born in the White House - Ruth - who was born to President Grover Cleveland in 1891 and later died in 1904. The candy manufacturer strongly denies any association with the famous Yankee.
4. What candy bar was included in U.S. solders' rations during World War II?
A. PayDay
B. Heath Bar
C. Snickers
D. Twix
B. Heath Bar
TOPICS: Heath bars were included in U.S. soldiers' rations during World War II because they had been found to have a very long shelf life. Originally marketed as a health food, the Heath bar was advertising as using only the finest ingredients. One early ad read: "Heath for better health!"
5. Where was milk chocolate invented?
A. England
B. America
C. Switzerland
D. France
C. Switzerland
TOPICS: A Swiss chocolate maker, Daniel Peter, mixes Henri Nestle's condensed milk with chocolate and the two men found a company to manufacture the first milk chocolate.
6. What candy bar was originally packaged to include three separate pieces of candy flavored vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry?
A. Twix
B. Mounds
C. Mars
D. 3 Musketeers
D. 3 Musketeers
TOPICS: When it was first introduced in 1932, the 3 Musketeers bar was packaged to include three separate pieces of candy flavored vanilla, chocolate and strawberry -- thus the name THREE Musketeers. Causing some confusion to tourists worldwide, the 3 Musketeers bar is called a Milky Way in European countries, and the U.S. version of the Milky Way is called a Mars Bar.
7. Aztec emperor Montezuma drank 50 golden goblets of hot chocolate every day. What special flavoring did he add?
A. Vanilla
B. Coffee
C. Chili pepper
D. Blood
C. Chili pepper
TOPICS: It was thick, dyed red and flavored with chili peppers.
8. Where do Hershey’s Kisses get their name?
A. Their inventor
B. Their flavor
C. Their shape
D. Their sound
D. Their sound
TOPICS: Hershey’s Kisses get their name from the sound and motion of the machines that produce them. It looks and sounds as if the machine is kissing the conveyor belt as it moves along.
9. What flavor is the oldest gum still available today?
A. Licorice
B. Cherry
C. Spearmint
D. Clove
A. Licorice
TOPICS: The oldest gum still available is licorice-flavored Blackjack Chewing Gum. It was first introduced in 1872 and was the first flavored gum in the United States.
10. What candy bar was named after its inventor's family horse?
A. Twix
B. Pay Day
C. Snickers
D. Almond Joy
C. Snickers
TOPICS: Originally introduced in 1929 by Frank and Ethel Mars, the Snickers bar was named after their family horse. The original Snickers bars were sold for a nickel and consisted primarily of chocolate, peanuts and caramel.
Scary Movie Trivia Questions And Answers
1. If you are a teenager living on Elm Street what should you never do?
A. Go to sleep
B. Play with dolls
C. Go to the prom
D. Have sex
A. Go to sleep
TOPICS: We all know from "Nightmare on Elm Street" that your dreams can get you killed by Freddy Krueger. Written by Craven, a former English teacher, the film's premise is the question of where the line between dreams and reality lies. The villain, Freddy Krueger, exists in the "dream world" and yet can kill in the "real world".
2. If you are up on your movie lore, then you also know that you should never accept what job on Halloween?
A. Hotel clerk
B. Baby sitter
C. Camp counselor
D. Traveling salesman
B. Baby sitter
TOPICS: Halloween (also known as John Carpenter's Halloween) is a 1978 American independent horror film set in the fictional Midwest town of Haddonfield, Illinois on Halloween. Originally titled The Babysitter Murders, the film centers on Michael Myers' escape from a psychiatric hospital, his murdering of teenagers, and Dr. Loomis's attempts to track and stop him.
3. What should tip you off to a bad motel to check in to?
A. No one else has checked in for weeks
B. The clerk talks too much about his mother
C. The clerk's name is Norman
D. You are a thief
B. The clerk talks too much about his mother
TOPICS: At the end of the film, a forensic psychiatrist, Dr. Fred Richmond (Oakland), explains to Lila, Sam and the authorities that Bates' mother, though dead, lives on in Norman's psyche. Norman was so dominated by his mother while she lived, and so guilt-ridden for murdering her eight years earlier, that he tried to erase the crime from his mind by bringing his mother back to life.
4. If you are looking for a job on Crystal Lake what offer should you not accept?
A. Mailman
B. Truck driver
C. Camp cook
D. Camp counselor
D. Camp counselor
TOPICS: In Friday the 13th, we learn it is a bad job to be a counselor at Camp Crystal Lake where the counselors die extremely bloody deaths at the hands of an unseen killer who turns out to be the cook whose son Jason drowned 25 years earlier while neglected by romancing counselors.
5. British actor Boris Karloff created a cinematic icon when he played the role of what monster?
A. Dracula
B. Werewolf
C. Frankenstein
D. Alien
C. Frankenstein
TOPICS: British actor Boris Karloff played the role of the monster in the 1931 film "Frankenstein". The ghoulish makeup he wore and the lurching walk he adopted in the film have become conventions, even cliches, of horror films. And beyond the individual techniques Karloff used when playing the role of the monster, he created a feeling of sympathy for the character, a technique that has since become a more general trait of successful horror films, whose monsters often gain intensity by fascinating audiences as well as repelling them.
6. Béla Lugosi was a Hungarian/American actor best known for his portrayal of what monster?
A. Dracula
B. Werewolf
C. Frankenstein
D. Alien
A. Dracula
TOPICS: Béla Ferenc Dezso Blaskó, better known as Béla Lugosi, was best known for his portrayal of Count Dracula in the American Broadway stage production, and subsequent film, of Bram Stoker's classic vampire story.
7. In this 1970s book and novel, a mother believes her child (played by Linda Blair in the movie) is what?
A. An alien
B. The devil
C. Possessed by a demon
D. Bearing the devil's baby
C. Possessed by a demon
TOPICS: Novelist William Peter Blatty based his 1971 best-seller on the last known Catholic-sanctioned exorcism in the United States. Blatty transformed the little boy in the 1949 incident into a little girl named Regan, played by 14-year-old Linda Blair in the 1973 movie. Suddenly prone to fits and bizarre behavior, Regan proves quite a handful for her actress-mother, Chris MacNeil (played by Ellen Burstyn, although Blatty reportedly based the character on his next-door neighbor Shirley MacLaine). When Regan gets completely out of hand, Chris calls in young priest Father Karras (Jason Miller), who becomes convinced that the girl is possessed by the Devil and that they must call in an exorcist: namely, Father Merrin (Max von Sydow). His foe proves to be no run-of-the-mill demon, and both the priest and the girl suffer numerous horrors during their struggles.
8. In a horror movie, you should worry if you encounter a doll named what?
A. Smiley
B. Bonnie
C. Chucky
D. Dolly
C. Chucky
TOPICS:Charles Lee Ray, or Chucky for short is a fictional character from the Child's Play series of horror films, the original screenplay was credited as written by Don Mancini, John Lafia and Tom Holland. He is the primary villain featured in the series. Chucky is a doll that was possessed by means of voodoo magic by serial killer Charles Lee Ray, the notorious Lakeshore Strangler. During most of his time as a doll, Chucky chased after a boy named Andy Barclay because Andy was the first person he told his real name to as a doll.
9. Movies also teach us that if your son warns of "redrum" you better distance yourself from your husband pronto. But in "The Shining" all the husband is worried about is what?
A. Working too hard
B. Playing too hard
C. Becoming a murderer
D. Being murdered
A. Working too hard
TOPICS: "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" -- or, rather, a homicidal boy in Stanley Kubrick's eerie 1980 adaptation of Stephen King's horror novel. With wife Wendy (Shelley Duvall) and psychic son Danny (Danny Lloyd) in tow, frustrated writer Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) takes a job as the winter caretaker at the opulently ominous, mountain-locked Overlook Hotel so that he can write in peace. Before the Overlook is vacated for the Torrances, the manager (Barry Nelson) informs Jack that a previous caretaker went crazy and slaughtered his family. Settling into their routine, Jack sets up shop in a cavernous lounge with strict orders not to be disturbed. Danny's alter ego, "Tony," however, starts warning of "redrum" as Danny is plagued by more blood-soaked visions of the past, and a blocked Jack starts visiting the hotel bar for a few visions of his own. Frightened by her husband's behavior, Wendy soon discovers what Jack has really been doing in his study all day, and what the hotel has done to Jack.
10. You can never really go home again, or at least you shouldn't if your neighbors belong to this profession?
A. Slaughterhouse workers
B. Morticians
C. Chefs
D. Veterinarians
A. Slaughterhouse workers
TOPICS: Tobe Hooper's influential cult classic, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, continues the subgenre of horror films based on the life and "career" of Wisconsin serial killer Ed Gein. When Sally Hardesty (Marilyn Burns) hears that the Texas cemetery where her grandfather is buried has been vandalized, she gathers her wheelchair-bound brother Franklin (Paul A. Partain) and several other friends together to see if grandpa's remains are still in one piece. While in the area, Sally and her friends decide to visit grandfather's old farmhouse. Unfortunately, a family of homicidal slaughterhouse workers who take their job home with them have taken over the house next door. Included amongst the brood is Leatherface (Gunnar Hansen), a chainsaw-wielding human horror show who wears a face mask made out of human skin. Sally's friends are rapidly exterminated one-by-one by the next-door neighbors, leaving only Sally left to fight off Leatherface and his clan.
A. Go to sleep
B. Play with dolls
C. Go to the prom
D. Have sex
A. Go to sleep
TOPICS: We all know from "Nightmare on Elm Street" that your dreams can get you killed by Freddy Krueger. Written by Craven, a former English teacher, the film's premise is the question of where the line between dreams and reality lies. The villain, Freddy Krueger, exists in the "dream world" and yet can kill in the "real world".
2. If you are up on your movie lore, then you also know that you should never accept what job on Halloween?
A. Hotel clerk
B. Baby sitter
C. Camp counselor
D. Traveling salesman
B. Baby sitter
TOPICS: Halloween (also known as John Carpenter's Halloween) is a 1978 American independent horror film set in the fictional Midwest town of Haddonfield, Illinois on Halloween. Originally titled The Babysitter Murders, the film centers on Michael Myers' escape from a psychiatric hospital, his murdering of teenagers, and Dr. Loomis's attempts to track and stop him.
3. What should tip you off to a bad motel to check in to?
A. No one else has checked in for weeks
B. The clerk talks too much about his mother
C. The clerk's name is Norman
D. You are a thief
B. The clerk talks too much about his mother
TOPICS: At the end of the film, a forensic psychiatrist, Dr. Fred Richmond (Oakland), explains to Lila, Sam and the authorities that Bates' mother, though dead, lives on in Norman's psyche. Norman was so dominated by his mother while she lived, and so guilt-ridden for murdering her eight years earlier, that he tried to erase the crime from his mind by bringing his mother back to life.
4. If you are looking for a job on Crystal Lake what offer should you not accept?
A. Mailman
B. Truck driver
C. Camp cook
D. Camp counselor
D. Camp counselor
TOPICS: In Friday the 13th, we learn it is a bad job to be a counselor at Camp Crystal Lake where the counselors die extremely bloody deaths at the hands of an unseen killer who turns out to be the cook whose son Jason drowned 25 years earlier while neglected by romancing counselors.
5. British actor Boris Karloff created a cinematic icon when he played the role of what monster?
A. Dracula
B. Werewolf
C. Frankenstein
D. Alien
C. Frankenstein
TOPICS: British actor Boris Karloff played the role of the monster in the 1931 film "Frankenstein". The ghoulish makeup he wore and the lurching walk he adopted in the film have become conventions, even cliches, of horror films. And beyond the individual techniques Karloff used when playing the role of the monster, he created a feeling of sympathy for the character, a technique that has since become a more general trait of successful horror films, whose monsters often gain intensity by fascinating audiences as well as repelling them.
6. Béla Lugosi was a Hungarian/American actor best known for his portrayal of what monster?
A. Dracula
B. Werewolf
C. Frankenstein
D. Alien
A. Dracula
TOPICS: Béla Ferenc Dezso Blaskó, better known as Béla Lugosi, was best known for his portrayal of Count Dracula in the American Broadway stage production, and subsequent film, of Bram Stoker's classic vampire story.
7. In this 1970s book and novel, a mother believes her child (played by Linda Blair in the movie) is what?
A. An alien
B. The devil
C. Possessed by a demon
D. Bearing the devil's baby
C. Possessed by a demon
TOPICS: Novelist William Peter Blatty based his 1971 best-seller on the last known Catholic-sanctioned exorcism in the United States. Blatty transformed the little boy in the 1949 incident into a little girl named Regan, played by 14-year-old Linda Blair in the 1973 movie. Suddenly prone to fits and bizarre behavior, Regan proves quite a handful for her actress-mother, Chris MacNeil (played by Ellen Burstyn, although Blatty reportedly based the character on his next-door neighbor Shirley MacLaine). When Regan gets completely out of hand, Chris calls in young priest Father Karras (Jason Miller), who becomes convinced that the girl is possessed by the Devil and that they must call in an exorcist: namely, Father Merrin (Max von Sydow). His foe proves to be no run-of-the-mill demon, and both the priest and the girl suffer numerous horrors during their struggles.
8. In a horror movie, you should worry if you encounter a doll named what?
A. Smiley
B. Bonnie
C. Chucky
D. Dolly
C. Chucky
TOPICS:Charles Lee Ray, or Chucky for short is a fictional character from the Child's Play series of horror films, the original screenplay was credited as written by Don Mancini, John Lafia and Tom Holland. He is the primary villain featured in the series. Chucky is a doll that was possessed by means of voodoo magic by serial killer Charles Lee Ray, the notorious Lakeshore Strangler. During most of his time as a doll, Chucky chased after a boy named Andy Barclay because Andy was the first person he told his real name to as a doll.
9. Movies also teach us that if your son warns of "redrum" you better distance yourself from your husband pronto. But in "The Shining" all the husband is worried about is what?
A. Working too hard
B. Playing too hard
C. Becoming a murderer
D. Being murdered
A. Working too hard
TOPICS: "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" -- or, rather, a homicidal boy in Stanley Kubrick's eerie 1980 adaptation of Stephen King's horror novel. With wife Wendy (Shelley Duvall) and psychic son Danny (Danny Lloyd) in tow, frustrated writer Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) takes a job as the winter caretaker at the opulently ominous, mountain-locked Overlook Hotel so that he can write in peace. Before the Overlook is vacated for the Torrances, the manager (Barry Nelson) informs Jack that a previous caretaker went crazy and slaughtered his family. Settling into their routine, Jack sets up shop in a cavernous lounge with strict orders not to be disturbed. Danny's alter ego, "Tony," however, starts warning of "redrum" as Danny is plagued by more blood-soaked visions of the past, and a blocked Jack starts visiting the hotel bar for a few visions of his own. Frightened by her husband's behavior, Wendy soon discovers what Jack has really been doing in his study all day, and what the hotel has done to Jack.
10. You can never really go home again, or at least you shouldn't if your neighbors belong to this profession?
A. Slaughterhouse workers
B. Morticians
C. Chefs
D. Veterinarians
A. Slaughterhouse workers
TOPICS: Tobe Hooper's influential cult classic, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, continues the subgenre of horror films based on the life and "career" of Wisconsin serial killer Ed Gein. When Sally Hardesty (Marilyn Burns) hears that the Texas cemetery where her grandfather is buried has been vandalized, she gathers her wheelchair-bound brother Franklin (Paul A. Partain) and several other friends together to see if grandpa's remains are still in one piece. While in the area, Sally and her friends decide to visit grandfather's old farmhouse. Unfortunately, a family of homicidal slaughterhouse workers who take their job home with them have taken over the house next door. Included amongst the brood is Leatherface (Gunnar Hansen), a chainsaw-wielding human horror show who wears a face mask made out of human skin. Sally's friends are rapidly exterminated one-by-one by the next-door neighbors, leaving only Sally left to fight off Leatherface and his clan.
How to be a Rip-Roaring Stand-Up Comedy Success
Standing up before an audience of any type is hard. Love stand-up comedy, but not quite making it? Making them laugh can be a serious business, and if your act is not quite what you want, whether you are a professional or just do it for laughs – but don't get many – there is a solution to your problem.
You see, making people laugh is about how you behave on stage, and what you say and do – the doing can make people laugh as much or more than the saying. So how do you improve your performance?
Practice in Front of a Mirror
For a start you should practice in front of the mirror, making as much noise as you want, and moving around, too. What exactly does that funny face you pull look like? Funny or stupid? Actually, there is not much difference between funny and stupid, so one thing you need to do is be prepared to look very stupid – that has made some stand up comedians very successful.
You also need to master the art of looking totally self-confident whatever you are doing, even if it is being silly! Get totally immersed in the person you are portraying on the stage – don't just tell jokes. Of course, the jokes and stories are the essence of stand-up comedy, but you want your act to be a real act.
If you are one of those guys that relies on a certain set of clothing, and can just stand and talk, deadpan, or excited, or whatever is your style that is fine, but the important thing is to make what you do into an act.
Get a Method
To turn your act into a roaring success, you want a structure and method. If you want help to:
** Plan your stand-up comedy routine
** Avoid feeling nervous when you arrive on stage – and maybe even showing it
** Know when to speak and when to pause
** Remember your lines – it is fatal to forget the punch line and get it wrong
** Give your voice more strength, so everyone in the hall feels that you are someone!
You see, making people laugh is about how you behave on stage, and what you say and do – the doing can make people laugh as much or more than the saying. So how do you improve your performance?
Practice in Front of a Mirror
For a start you should practice in front of the mirror, making as much noise as you want, and moving around, too. What exactly does that funny face you pull look like? Funny or stupid? Actually, there is not much difference between funny and stupid, so one thing you need to do is be prepared to look very stupid – that has made some stand up comedians very successful.
You also need to master the art of looking totally self-confident whatever you are doing, even if it is being silly! Get totally immersed in the person you are portraying on the stage – don't just tell jokes. Of course, the jokes and stories are the essence of stand-up comedy, but you want your act to be a real act.
If you are one of those guys that relies on a certain set of clothing, and can just stand and talk, deadpan, or excited, or whatever is your style that is fine, but the important thing is to make what you do into an act.
Get a Method
To turn your act into a roaring success, you want a structure and method. If you want help to:
** Plan your stand-up comedy routine
** Avoid feeling nervous when you arrive on stage – and maybe even showing it
** Know when to speak and when to pause
** Remember your lines – it is fatal to forget the punch line and get it wrong
** Give your voice more strength, so everyone in the hall feels that you are someone!
How and When To Make Humour at Work
A good laugh will do wonders for you as smiling and laughing lowers your stress levels, wins you a friendly reputation, and helps your usually tense co-workers and bosses to relax.
Humour on the job will do a lot for your career, but there are a number of things you need to know about laughter and humour in the place of work.
Feeling good and having humour in our lives can do wonders for our position and productivity, which means that there is definitely a place for some humour on the job. Having a smiling face will help your co-workers and supervisors feel better being around you, and you may well end up reaping rewards by laughing more in the workplace. But you need to know how to apply humour in your work environment.
Laughing has been proven to be a huge stress reliever, letting you feel better and becoming more productive. To be able to loosen up and have some fun is great, so why not take that approach to work each day and lighten up around the work place? Smiling can make your job easier, more than ever if you work in customer service or sales. But there's certainly a right and incorrect way to use humour in the workplace.
One of the main rules with humour in the workplace is to avoid controversy when you are joking on the job. Stay well away from joking about political affairs, race and religion.
Sex is another unsafe topic because of sexual harassment in the workplace. Make sure that you stay well within the lines of decency.
Never make fun at other people within your organization, as you are trying to win friends with the people you work with, and not set against them. If you can't help yourself, please be extremely careful.
Poking fun at the work you do or the industry you work in is a good way to earn some smiles from your co-workers and supervisors. While these types of workplace jokes may not be so funny at home or with friends, as they really don't appreciate the pressures of your employment, the people who are around you in your job will definitely appreciate the humour about their frustrations and will be able to laugh over the situations instead of complaining.
Making jokes about the ups and downs of your trade is a safe way to add wit to the place of work. You will have the benefit of knowing precisely what your co-workers have to face each and every day, and it's much better as it helps to let go of tensions and lower stress levels by getting them to chuckle about the situations they come across frequently.
The very best time for some humour is when you are not working, but still in the region of the people you work with, such as a coffee or lunch break. You can also make an effort to be funny on the job, but when you are working, it's a good idea to use jokes much more thinly than you would normally do.
In general, humour in the workplace is a superb area to flex your creative muscles and give your job a little boost.
Humour in the workplace helps stress levels to drop, and your co-workers will feel better about working with you. Start gradually, and add a few more safe jokes here and there to incite a few smiles. Everyone will feel better because of your efforts.
Humour on the job will do a lot for your career, but there are a number of things you need to know about laughter and humour in the place of work.
Feeling good and having humour in our lives can do wonders for our position and productivity, which means that there is definitely a place for some humour on the job. Having a smiling face will help your co-workers and supervisors feel better being around you, and you may well end up reaping rewards by laughing more in the workplace. But you need to know how to apply humour in your work environment.
Laughing has been proven to be a huge stress reliever, letting you feel better and becoming more productive. To be able to loosen up and have some fun is great, so why not take that approach to work each day and lighten up around the work place? Smiling can make your job easier, more than ever if you work in customer service or sales. But there's certainly a right and incorrect way to use humour in the workplace.
One of the main rules with humour in the workplace is to avoid controversy when you are joking on the job. Stay well away from joking about political affairs, race and religion.
Sex is another unsafe topic because of sexual harassment in the workplace. Make sure that you stay well within the lines of decency.
Never make fun at other people within your organization, as you are trying to win friends with the people you work with, and not set against them. If you can't help yourself, please be extremely careful.
Poking fun at the work you do or the industry you work in is a good way to earn some smiles from your co-workers and supervisors. While these types of workplace jokes may not be so funny at home or with friends, as they really don't appreciate the pressures of your employment, the people who are around you in your job will definitely appreciate the humour about their frustrations and will be able to laugh over the situations instead of complaining.
Making jokes about the ups and downs of your trade is a safe way to add wit to the place of work. You will have the benefit of knowing precisely what your co-workers have to face each and every day, and it's much better as it helps to let go of tensions and lower stress levels by getting them to chuckle about the situations they come across frequently.
The very best time for some humour is when you are not working, but still in the region of the people you work with, such as a coffee or lunch break. You can also make an effort to be funny on the job, but when you are working, it's a good idea to use jokes much more thinly than you would normally do.
In general, humour in the workplace is a superb area to flex your creative muscles and give your job a little boost.
Humour in the workplace helps stress levels to drop, and your co-workers will feel better about working with you. Start gradually, and add a few more safe jokes here and there to incite a few smiles. Everyone will feel better because of your efforts.
Funny Videos - Best Method for Driving Traffic to Your Site
Having funny videos can be one of the best ways to drive traffic to your site.
There are hundreds of new funny videos popping up on major video sharing sites on the internet everyday. All of this content gets hosted on major video sharing sites for a reason - because they drive traffic. Funny videos draw some of the largest amounts of traffic, because people love to send their friends and family something that will make them laugh.
For a funny video to be effective, it has to be something new that people have not seen before. It has to be something that they want to share with their friends or family. To get original content, you can search through major video sharing websites, such as YouTube, but you are likely only going to find funny videos that have already been seen by thousands, if not millions of people. To get more original content, try looking for websites that are not searched by everyone that may have funny videos. For example, search for college humor sites, you may find some guys from a dormitory have a video up of some pranks they have pulled. Once you do start get original content, you will find that it will drive traffic to your site. Sometimes just one funny video can drive in tones of visitors.
10 simple hints to ensure you have a good funny video:
1) Don't use a funny video that has already been seen by millions 2) Try to find a funny video that makes you laugh. 3) Videos that are funny, sexy or shocking have large appeal 4) Include your website name in the funny video if possible 5) Make your viral video controversial and cause a stir. 6) Funny videos that relate to recent media events do well 7) Make sure your funny video is hosted on a good video sharing site to avoid slow playback when you start to get a lot of visitors 8) You funny video should contain hate towards anyone. 9) You should not find your funny video boring 10) The funny video should only be a couple minutes long
No matter what funny video you find to help drive traffic, you should always test it on your site to see how well it does. You never know what you may not find funny, millions of other might!
There are hundreds of new funny videos popping up on major video sharing sites on the internet everyday. All of this content gets hosted on major video sharing sites for a reason - because they drive traffic. Funny videos draw some of the largest amounts of traffic, because people love to send their friends and family something that will make them laugh.
For a funny video to be effective, it has to be something new that people have not seen before. It has to be something that they want to share with their friends or family. To get original content, you can search through major video sharing websites, such as YouTube, but you are likely only going to find funny videos that have already been seen by thousands, if not millions of people. To get more original content, try looking for websites that are not searched by everyone that may have funny videos. For example, search for college humor sites, you may find some guys from a dormitory have a video up of some pranks they have pulled. Once you do start get original content, you will find that it will drive traffic to your site. Sometimes just one funny video can drive in tones of visitors.
10 simple hints to ensure you have a good funny video:
1) Don't use a funny video that has already been seen by millions 2) Try to find a funny video that makes you laugh. 3) Videos that are funny, sexy or shocking have large appeal 4) Include your website name in the funny video if possible 5) Make your viral video controversial and cause a stir. 6) Funny videos that relate to recent media events do well 7) Make sure your funny video is hosted on a good video sharing site to avoid slow playback when you start to get a lot of visitors 8) You funny video should contain hate towards anyone. 9) You should not find your funny video boring 10) The funny video should only be a couple minutes long
No matter what funny video you find to help drive traffic, you should always test it on your site to see how well it does. You never know what you may not find funny, millions of other might!
School Stand Up Comedy Talent Show
Did you ever think of going to a school stand up comedy talent show? Well, I tried to. Of course, you've got to go to the school and study stand up comedy first.
So I went to this stand up comedy school, and I put on my best humorous voice and manner. Guess what? They turned me down. Said I wasn't serious enough!
'But I thought you had to be funny,' I said. The principal shook his head. 'You have to appear to be funny, but the business of comedy is very serious. Look around and you will see that lots of comedians are very serious people.'
Now this took me by surprise. But I found out that he is right! Lots of top comedians are really very serious guys when they are off-stage. In fact, some really terrific comedians took life so seriously that they couldn't stand it and committed suicide.
Ok, so don't take it too seriously, nothing is that important. But if you go to one of these schools make sure they think you are serious.
What do I mean? Well, get yourself a real act, not just a few jokes. Sure, the audience will laugh at good jokes, but you want them to be laughing all the time. So who are you? Look at yourself in the mirror. Are you a suited gent who might have just walked in from your office in the bank? This is one way to go.
Or are you long haired and wear scruffy clothes all the time? Well, that can work when you eventually get to the school stand up comedy talent show. Snag is, that quite a few other people will do it. You could dress like a clown, and fall about the place a bit – but that's getting away from stand-up comedy.
What you need to do is to be creative. You could always come on with an umbrella up, or with a briefcase bulging with papers where you search for jokes. That might be enough to win at the school stand up comedy talent show if you get your jokes right.
See, when you enter a school stand up comedy talent show, you need to be yourself, and make sure that is different from anyone else – and exaggerated.
By the way, I did find a stand up comedy school where I was accepted, but that's another story. In the end, though, I found the best way to turn my act into a laughter-maker was online.
So I went to this stand up comedy school, and I put on my best humorous voice and manner. Guess what? They turned me down. Said I wasn't serious enough!
'But I thought you had to be funny,' I said. The principal shook his head. 'You have to appear to be funny, but the business of comedy is very serious. Look around and you will see that lots of comedians are very serious people.'
Now this took me by surprise. But I found out that he is right! Lots of top comedians are really very serious guys when they are off-stage. In fact, some really terrific comedians took life so seriously that they couldn't stand it and committed suicide.
Ok, so don't take it too seriously, nothing is that important. But if you go to one of these schools make sure they think you are serious.
What do I mean? Well, get yourself a real act, not just a few jokes. Sure, the audience will laugh at good jokes, but you want them to be laughing all the time. So who are you? Look at yourself in the mirror. Are you a suited gent who might have just walked in from your office in the bank? This is one way to go.
Or are you long haired and wear scruffy clothes all the time? Well, that can work when you eventually get to the school stand up comedy talent show. Snag is, that quite a few other people will do it. You could dress like a clown, and fall about the place a bit – but that's getting away from stand-up comedy.
What you need to do is to be creative. You could always come on with an umbrella up, or with a briefcase bulging with papers where you search for jokes. That might be enough to win at the school stand up comedy talent show if you get your jokes right.
See, when you enter a school stand up comedy talent show, you need to be yourself, and make sure that is different from anyone else – and exaggerated.
By the way, I did find a stand up comedy school where I was accepted, but that's another story. In the end, though, I found the best way to turn my act into a laughter-maker was online.
Quotes to Make You Laugh
Laughter is undoubtedly good for your health. Sometimes, however, it is hard to break a smile. Monday mornings at work come to mind. Well, here are some quotes that can tackle even the Monday morning blues.
1. Rodney Dangerfield - I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
2. Drew Carey - You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!
3. Steven Wright - Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
4. Jay Leno - Dick Cheney says he loves California - out here the rich and famous can shoot people and get away with it. Wait till these Enron guys find out that in prison, the term "Insider trading" has a whole new meaning.
5. Edward Abbey - A drink a day keeps the shrink away.
6. Steven Wright - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
7. Rodney Dangerfield - My wife was afraid of the dark...then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
8. George Bush - One of the common denominators I have found is that expectations rise above that which is expected.
9. Groucho Marx - She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
10. Steven Wright - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Jerry Seinfield - Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
12. Dave Attell - You ever get drunk and pass out... or as I call it 'time travel'?
13. Dave Attell - Man, you've gone from social drinker to alcoholic really quickly.
14. Rodney Dangerfield - I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.
15. Bill Cosby - A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Life can be serious, but don't put too much stock in the pressures of the moment. Tomorrow is a new day and somewhere, somehow, someone will say something hilarious.
1. Rodney Dangerfield - I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
2. Drew Carey - You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!
3. Steven Wright - Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
4. Jay Leno - Dick Cheney says he loves California - out here the rich and famous can shoot people and get away with it. Wait till these Enron guys find out that in prison, the term "Insider trading" has a whole new meaning.
5. Edward Abbey - A drink a day keeps the shrink away.
6. Steven Wright - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
7. Rodney Dangerfield - My wife was afraid of the dark...then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
8. George Bush - One of the common denominators I have found is that expectations rise above that which is expected.
9. Groucho Marx - She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
10. Steven Wright - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Jerry Seinfield - Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
12. Dave Attell - You ever get drunk and pass out... or as I call it 'time travel'?
13. Dave Attell - Man, you've gone from social drinker to alcoholic really quickly.
14. Rodney Dangerfield - I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.
15. Bill Cosby - A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Life can be serious, but don't put too much stock in the pressures of the moment. Tomorrow is a new day and somewhere, somehow, someone will say something hilarious.
What About Free Laughter…Online?
We live in a stressful world! From the time you go out from your house to the time you arrive in your office, it is certain that you will encounter at least one incident that would stress you out. Remember - this is just in the morning. Can you imagine how much stress you would end up getting the whole day? What about in the course of a whole month or even an entire year? What can you do about it? Here’s one very easy and free remedy - Laugh!
To laugh is the best you can do when you are stressed out - but how can you do it when you seem to lose your sense of humor in this stressful fast paced way of life? Well, why not hit your keyboard and try to look for funny stuff and funny videos from Funny-Stuff.net! At least that is one stress antidote technology has in this stressful world! Try it. It’s just a portion of your time to change the way you live your life! Learn to laugh once in a while!
What benefits can laughter really give? Many researchers say that there are indeed many benefits one can get from laughter. Even just by looking at funny videos or checking out funny stuff, one can benefit a lot from it. Have you ever experienced being nagged by your boss or even by your wife? You can’t even smile at all. But after seeing funny videos or seeing funny stuffs, you start laughing and for a moment, you forget the words your boss or your wife told you. It feels great that a moment of laughter can actually erase bad thoughts. Accordingly, stress causes the body to produce lesser oxygen and only laughter has the power to divert the body from producing a lesser one to producing more at a very short period of time, much faster than any medicine can. And besides that, laughter’s free! Many surveys show that high blood pressure, hypertension, heart ailments cover 45 fun and laughter - guaranteed!
To laugh is the best you can do when you are stressed out - but how can you do it when you seem to lose your sense of humor in this stressful fast paced way of life? Well, why not hit your keyboard and try to look for funny stuff and funny videos from Funny-Stuff.net! At least that is one stress antidote technology has in this stressful world! Try it. It’s just a portion of your time to change the way you live your life! Learn to laugh once in a while!
What benefits can laughter really give? Many researchers say that there are indeed many benefits one can get from laughter. Even just by looking at funny videos or checking out funny stuff, one can benefit a lot from it. Have you ever experienced being nagged by your boss or even by your wife? You can’t even smile at all. But after seeing funny videos or seeing funny stuffs, you start laughing and for a moment, you forget the words your boss or your wife told you. It feels great that a moment of laughter can actually erase bad thoughts. Accordingly, stress causes the body to produce lesser oxygen and only laughter has the power to divert the body from producing a lesser one to producing more at a very short period of time, much faster than any medicine can. And besides that, laughter’s free! Many surveys show that high blood pressure, hypertension, heart ailments cover 45 fun and laughter - guaranteed!
Smiles, Giggles and Laughter
One of the greatest experiences we can have is laughter. It feels good. It is an amazing expression of happiness and pure enjoyment. A famous quote is "Laughter is the best medicine." This statement is so true. There have been countless scientific studies about the healing effects of laughter. However, science does not need to tell you that if this wonderful release serves no other purpose, it makes you feel carefree, even if just for a moment.
Smiling is a start. A simple smile can make you physically feel in a better mood. It can also create a more open, welcoming persona for those people you encounter. Smiles are often contagious. People who do not even know why you are smiling will often reciprocate. It can also take the place of a verbal hello as a salutation or a friendly acknowledgement of another person.
A giggle or chuckle often follows a smile. Usually this response is a polite reaction to a humorous story, joke or scene. It creates a feeling of light-heartedness, and again can be contagious without any effort. Giggling is something we notice with children at a very young age as a natural response to a positive stimulus. As adults, we tend to lose our quick response to find amusement in life. We should remember to model our life more like that of the child to live a happier life.
Finally, there is the full belly laugh that is the complete outpouring of happy emotion. The greatest release of stress; it is the laugh that is so hard and so deep you can feel a pain in your side, a cramp in your stomach, tearing eyes, and a difficulty catching your breath. Now although these "side effects" of laughter sound serious, it will certainly be the best "pain" you are ever in. This kind of laughter is best when shared with someone else.
So whether it is a glowing smile or a deep laugh, allow yourself to open up to all of the wonderful gifts the world is offering to you to make you happy. Do not worry if someone else is looking at you or judging your actions. Remember the model of the child and smile, giggle and laugh more. You will feel physically better, and will pass along this wonderful gift to someone else. Shine your light. Funny Quotes make people a lot laugh.
So laugh and always make others laugh. Enjoy your life and then everything in your life will be good. Smiles, laughing, humor is one of the most essential part of life.
Smiling is a start. A simple smile can make you physically feel in a better mood. It can also create a more open, welcoming persona for those people you encounter. Smiles are often contagious. People who do not even know why you are smiling will often reciprocate. It can also take the place of a verbal hello as a salutation or a friendly acknowledgement of another person.
A giggle or chuckle often follows a smile. Usually this response is a polite reaction to a humorous story, joke or scene. It creates a feeling of light-heartedness, and again can be contagious without any effort. Giggling is something we notice with children at a very young age as a natural response to a positive stimulus. As adults, we tend to lose our quick response to find amusement in life. We should remember to model our life more like that of the child to live a happier life.
Finally, there is the full belly laugh that is the complete outpouring of happy emotion. The greatest release of stress; it is the laugh that is so hard and so deep you can feel a pain in your side, a cramp in your stomach, tearing eyes, and a difficulty catching your breath. Now although these "side effects" of laughter sound serious, it will certainly be the best "pain" you are ever in. This kind of laughter is best when shared with someone else.
So whether it is a glowing smile or a deep laugh, allow yourself to open up to all of the wonderful gifts the world is offering to you to make you happy. Do not worry if someone else is looking at you or judging your actions. Remember the model of the child and smile, giggle and laugh more. You will feel physically better, and will pass along this wonderful gift to someone else. Shine your light. Funny Quotes make people a lot laugh.
So laugh and always make others laugh. Enjoy your life and then everything in your life will be good. Smiles, laughing, humor is one of the most essential part of life.
Caricatures and their beginnings
CARICATURE
Caricature, the word, comes from Italian (circa 18th century), and it means a pictorial,written or acted representation of a person which exaggerates characteristics or traits for comic effect. The word is derived from the Italian ' caricatura' or distortion, which itself comes from 'caricare' to load or exaggerate.
The word we commonly use to describe such an image is CARTOON, which itself is, yes you guessed it..Italian. The original use was to describe an initial image that an artist would create before actually painting the intended picture or portrait. The word is ancient, having been used exstensively by no less a person than Leonardo da Vinci (whose name we all know now for completely different literary and filmic reasons), he would create 'cartoons' of all his intended work as a way of planning what the finished article would look like and also how best to create it, what paints or colours to use etc.
So interestingly, Walt Disney and Matt Groenig of Mickey Mouse and Homer Simpson fame, owe much to Leonardo da Vinci and his use of this technique in 'high Art'. All cartoons are rooted in this past history. In some cases, modern cartoon work could easily be described as 'high Art' because of their wonderful use of this art form and the use of often cutting wit and observation. Caricatures and cartoons have been used over the centuries to display radical satire and wit, especially when aimed at political figures. Sometimes in fact, caricature is the only way people can honestly describe their feelings without being locked up for doing so. The caricature is a powerful and cathartic tool of expression as is all other art.
Caricatures nowadays then, are no less an Art Form than they were in the past. Some artists, like myself are not actually considered artists because they create cartoons or caricatures, but if it was good enough for Leonardo...then I think it is good enough for me!! Or anybody else for that matter...
In my work, I try to create an amusing image of the person for whom the 'caricature' is intended, using exactly the interpretation of the words above. I exaggerate and distort and I inject some personal traits that I/we, trust the intended will enjoy and laugh at. Because if you cannot laugh at yourself and your own foolishness, you have no right to laugh at anybody else. At the same time, I will use techniques and skills learned and honed over time to visually express my interpretation. The use of high quality paints or inks is vital, for vibrant and enduring colur as is the use of high quality paper.
So what the person gets, the one who receives the image is a real piece of Art, worthy of much more than we usually give cartoons. It is also, and this is important and needs special mention, completely original and as the website name suggests....a ONE OFF. It can never be compared to anything else because all pieces of original art are completely individual and different from all others. Totally unique, just like the intended recipient of the work.
My work in this field receives my special attention each time I work and I will only send out something I, as the artist, am totally satisfied with. NO computer generated colours or enhancement are used, This sadly is the case with a lot of caricatures currently available, with many people pretending to do authentic caricatures, they are not true caricatures and they end up looking bland and visually flat as a result. Leonardo would say something very negative I am sure.
I look forward to humbly and satirically interpreting lots of you !!
Best regards
John S Spencer at www.oneoffcaricatures.co.uk
Caricature, the word, comes from Italian (circa 18th century), and it means a pictorial,written or acted representation of a person which exaggerates characteristics or traits for comic effect. The word is derived from the Italian ' caricatura' or distortion, which itself comes from 'caricare' to load or exaggerate.
The word we commonly use to describe such an image is CARTOON, which itself is, yes you guessed it..Italian. The original use was to describe an initial image that an artist would create before actually painting the intended picture or portrait. The word is ancient, having been used exstensively by no less a person than Leonardo da Vinci (whose name we all know now for completely different literary and filmic reasons), he would create 'cartoons' of all his intended work as a way of planning what the finished article would look like and also how best to create it, what paints or colours to use etc.
So interestingly, Walt Disney and Matt Groenig of Mickey Mouse and Homer Simpson fame, owe much to Leonardo da Vinci and his use of this technique in 'high Art'. All cartoons are rooted in this past history. In some cases, modern cartoon work could easily be described as 'high Art' because of their wonderful use of this art form and the use of often cutting wit and observation. Caricatures and cartoons have been used over the centuries to display radical satire and wit, especially when aimed at political figures. Sometimes in fact, caricature is the only way people can honestly describe their feelings without being locked up for doing so. The caricature is a powerful and cathartic tool of expression as is all other art.
Caricatures nowadays then, are no less an Art Form than they were in the past. Some artists, like myself are not actually considered artists because they create cartoons or caricatures, but if it was good enough for Leonardo...then I think it is good enough for me!! Or anybody else for that matter...
In my work, I try to create an amusing image of the person for whom the 'caricature' is intended, using exactly the interpretation of the words above. I exaggerate and distort and I inject some personal traits that I/we, trust the intended will enjoy and laugh at. Because if you cannot laugh at yourself and your own foolishness, you have no right to laugh at anybody else. At the same time, I will use techniques and skills learned and honed over time to visually express my interpretation. The use of high quality paints or inks is vital, for vibrant and enduring colur as is the use of high quality paper.
So what the person gets, the one who receives the image is a real piece of Art, worthy of much more than we usually give cartoons. It is also, and this is important and needs special mention, completely original and as the website name suggests....a ONE OFF. It can never be compared to anything else because all pieces of original art are completely individual and different from all others. Totally unique, just like the intended recipient of the work.
My work in this field receives my special attention each time I work and I will only send out something I, as the artist, am totally satisfied with. NO computer generated colours or enhancement are used, This sadly is the case with a lot of caricatures currently available, with many people pretending to do authentic caricatures, they are not true caricatures and they end up looking bland and visually flat as a result. Leonardo would say something very negative I am sure.
I look forward to humbly and satirically interpreting lots of you !!
Best regards
John S Spencer at www.oneoffcaricatures.co.uk
So you want to take funny pictures
If you want to be able to take funny pictures but good ones and wonder if there is a special technique to it. Funny pictures tell a wonderful tale when viewed by an appreciative audience. So what do you need to know to make your funny pictures turn out to be ones that people want to see again and again?
Taking pictures is about angles, framing, the placement of points of interest, colors and contrast. Sounds like a tall order doesn't it? But if you break things down into steps, its much easier. Getting the right look to your funny pictures will put YOUR shots a head and shoulders above everyone elses.
What do you need to know? The first thing is understand something called the rule of thirds. Artists and other photographers use this as their constant guideline. Now this will sound a little strange, but what you really need to do is to off center your funny pictures. Not to make them funny pictures because they are off center, but to make them interesting and provocative.
Here's how you imagine it. Hold up your camera to the scene you want to capture and now, imagine the # sign over the lens. Focus on your shot and put the main focal point of the shot at one of the intersections of the pound sign NOT in the middle. While the main focus of your shot will be off center, the actual photo will show way more than you realize. You can do this with horizons too by the way. Put the horizon either really low or high, not in the middle. Off centering is one of the golden keys to good funny pictures.
Now, a word about heights and angles! This more than anything you can do with your photography will make a mediocre snapshot into something quite spectacular. First choose a vantage point that suits the subject. Say the funny picture you want to take is a clown getting hit in the face with a pie. If you want to really get the point across about the "Splat" effect of the pie hitting the clowns face, then take a close up shot of it just when it is about to hit to capture the expression of the clown and the flying whipping cream. You get the idea.
Other things you can do to alter how your photo looks are to lie or crouch in front of your subject object, climb above it if possible, angle right or angle left or even try having the camera on the ground. If you want good funny pictures, try experimenting with your medium of shooting. You'd be amazed what you can actually come up with.
The other thing you have to pay attention to is the composition of your funny pictures. There are actually four ways to do this. The first one is to pay close attention to the relationship between your objects subjects in the picture. If you want your funny pictures to be appealing, you have to have something in those pictures that piques a person's visual interest. Something different, unique, eye-catching! Like a small dog about to take a large bite out of the back end of the clown about to get splatted with a pie in the face! Remember you are shooting the appearances of your subject/object, not the actual object. You want the appearance of the clown etc to tell your story. You want the clown to have a sense of humor and be ready for the splat the picture is not about the splat itself.
Pay attention to the lighting. Light on dark and dark on light. If things are too dark the object/subject of your funny pictures will not be seen. This observation also applies to having too much light as well. Clean up any clutter in your photos before taking that super shot.Who needs to see your office desk behind your cat if the main story is your cat, and not your lousy filing. Anything that distracts from the scene you want the viewer to see kills the story of the photograph. Happy snapping!
Taking pictures is about angles, framing, the placement of points of interest, colors and contrast. Sounds like a tall order doesn't it? But if you break things down into steps, its much easier. Getting the right look to your funny pictures will put YOUR shots a head and shoulders above everyone elses.
What do you need to know? The first thing is understand something called the rule of thirds. Artists and other photographers use this as their constant guideline. Now this will sound a little strange, but what you really need to do is to off center your funny pictures. Not to make them funny pictures because they are off center, but to make them interesting and provocative.
Here's how you imagine it. Hold up your camera to the scene you want to capture and now, imagine the # sign over the lens. Focus on your shot and put the main focal point of the shot at one of the intersections of the pound sign NOT in the middle. While the main focus of your shot will be off center, the actual photo will show way more than you realize. You can do this with horizons too by the way. Put the horizon either really low or high, not in the middle. Off centering is one of the golden keys to good funny pictures.
Now, a word about heights and angles! This more than anything you can do with your photography will make a mediocre snapshot into something quite spectacular. First choose a vantage point that suits the subject. Say the funny picture you want to take is a clown getting hit in the face with a pie. If you want to really get the point across about the "Splat" effect of the pie hitting the clowns face, then take a close up shot of it just when it is about to hit to capture the expression of the clown and the flying whipping cream. You get the idea.
Other things you can do to alter how your photo looks are to lie or crouch in front of your subject object, climb above it if possible, angle right or angle left or even try having the camera on the ground. If you want good funny pictures, try experimenting with your medium of shooting. You'd be amazed what you can actually come up with.
The other thing you have to pay attention to is the composition of your funny pictures. There are actually four ways to do this. The first one is to pay close attention to the relationship between your objects subjects in the picture. If you want your funny pictures to be appealing, you have to have something in those pictures that piques a person's visual interest. Something different, unique, eye-catching! Like a small dog about to take a large bite out of the back end of the clown about to get splatted with a pie in the face! Remember you are shooting the appearances of your subject/object, not the actual object. You want the appearance of the clown etc to tell your story. You want the clown to have a sense of humor and be ready for the splat the picture is not about the splat itself.
Pay attention to the lighting. Light on dark and dark on light. If things are too dark the object/subject of your funny pictures will not be seen. This observation also applies to having too much light as well. Clean up any clutter in your photos before taking that super shot.Who needs to see your office desk behind your cat if the main story is your cat, and not your lousy filing. Anything that distracts from the scene you want the viewer to see kills the story of the photograph. Happy snapping!
LAUGHTER: Five Easy Tips to Get Your Daily Dose
The other day my daughter's boyfriend sent me a funny video clip, something he loves to do. Because I was frazzled due to a deadline, I almost didn't open it. But I did and it changed my day. The clip made me laugh out loud. Laughing changed my attitude. My day didn't seem so difficult anymore.
Laughter is a wonderful activity. With children, it seems to come naturally. It's not so easy with adults. At some point, we get cautious about our laughter. After all, we are ADULTS and life is something to take SERIOUSLY. Laughter stops coming as readily as it did when we were kids. Yet, laughter is essential and it needs to be a regular part of our lives.
Why? Because laughter has been proven to reduce stress, lower blood pressure, improve the immune system and, in general, make a person feel good. As a preventive technique, it's also extremely easy to use. In addition, laughter is as contagious as a yawn. This means if you share it, you're just spreading the BENEFITS of laughter.
What can YOU do to increase your own laughter quotient?
First figure what you find funny. Do you like cartoons, jokes, funny video clips or something entirely different? Knowing what tickles your particular funny bone will help you create more opportunities for laughing.
Next, find ways to expose yourself to the things that make you laugh. Think of it as creating your own "daily dose of laughter". Here are some activities that can help you add laughter into your daily ritual:
1) Keep a favorite funny picture, cartoon or video clip on your computer's desktop and look at it during your day. As I love cats, my favorite video shows cats doing silly things. It always makes me laugh.
2) If you watch TV, consider watching a cartoon show. It is fun and something you can do with your kids. Also, consider watching more comic movies or TV shows. For example, I learned the value of this when I watched the Ice Age animated movies and fell in love with a demented squirrel!
3) Set up a "laugh a lot" group among your friends. Exchange jokes or other humorous things. It helps if you share the same type of humor or the group agrees to what is considered to be appropriate humor.
4) Find humorous websites that you can visit. There are sites for everyone's type of humor. For example, here's a site that gives you a variety of choices to increase your laughter: http://www.bestsearchers.com/best-websites/humor-jokes.html
5) Try something really different. For example, join a Laughter Club. These free clubs invite people to come together and practice laughing. They do this because there is evidence that laughing out loud is beneficial to a person's health and well being. For more information on Laughter Clubs, visit: http://www.laughteryoga.org.
You can add other activities to this list that will strengthen your funny bone. The main idea is to make laughter a part of your daily life.
Think about it. What would happen if laughter was just as important as brushing your teeth, eating, and exercising daily? These are things we do to keep ourselves healthy. Why not use laughter for the same reason? It can be the best preventive medicine you take!
Laughter is a wonderful activity. With children, it seems to come naturally. It's not so easy with adults. At some point, we get cautious about our laughter. After all, we are ADULTS and life is something to take SERIOUSLY. Laughter stops coming as readily as it did when we were kids. Yet, laughter is essential and it needs to be a regular part of our lives.
Why? Because laughter has been proven to reduce stress, lower blood pressure, improve the immune system and, in general, make a person feel good. As a preventive technique, it's also extremely easy to use. In addition, laughter is as contagious as a yawn. This means if you share it, you're just spreading the BENEFITS of laughter.
What can YOU do to increase your own laughter quotient?
First figure what you find funny. Do you like cartoons, jokes, funny video clips or something entirely different? Knowing what tickles your particular funny bone will help you create more opportunities for laughing.
Next, find ways to expose yourself to the things that make you laugh. Think of it as creating your own "daily dose of laughter". Here are some activities that can help you add laughter into your daily ritual:
1) Keep a favorite funny picture, cartoon or video clip on your computer's desktop and look at it during your day. As I love cats, my favorite video shows cats doing silly things. It always makes me laugh.
2) If you watch TV, consider watching a cartoon show. It is fun and something you can do with your kids. Also, consider watching more comic movies or TV shows. For example, I learned the value of this when I watched the Ice Age animated movies and fell in love with a demented squirrel!
3) Set up a "laugh a lot" group among your friends. Exchange jokes or other humorous things. It helps if you share the same type of humor or the group agrees to what is considered to be appropriate humor.
4) Find humorous websites that you can visit. There are sites for everyone's type of humor. For example, here's a site that gives you a variety of choices to increase your laughter: http://www.bestsearchers.com/best-websites/humor-jokes.html
5) Try something really different. For example, join a Laughter Club. These free clubs invite people to come together and practice laughing. They do this because there is evidence that laughing out loud is beneficial to a person's health and well being. For more information on Laughter Clubs, visit: http://www.laughteryoga.org.
You can add other activities to this list that will strengthen your funny bone. The main idea is to make laughter a part of your daily life.
Think about it. What would happen if laughter was just as important as brushing your teeth, eating, and exercising daily? These are things we do to keep ourselves healthy. Why not use laughter for the same reason? It can be the best preventive medicine you take!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)