Laughter is undoubtedly good for your health. Sometimes, however, it is hard to break a smile. Monday mornings at work come to mind. Well, here are some quotes that can tackle even the Monday morning blues.
1. Rodney Dangerfield - I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
2. Drew Carey - You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!
3. Steven Wright - Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
4. Jay Leno - Dick Cheney says he loves California - out here the rich and famous can shoot people and get away with it. Wait till these Enron guys find out that in prison, the term "Insider trading" has a whole new meaning.
5. Edward Abbey - A drink a day keeps the shrink away.
6. Steven Wright - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
7. Rodney Dangerfield - My wife was afraid of the dark...then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
8. George Bush - One of the common denominators I have found is that expectations rise above that which is expected.
9. Groucho Marx - She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
10. Steven Wright - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Jerry Seinfield - Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
12. Dave Attell - You ever get drunk and pass out... or as I call it 'time travel'?
13. Dave Attell - Man, you've gone from social drinker to alcoholic really quickly.
14. Rodney Dangerfield - I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.
15. Bill Cosby - A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Life can be serious, but don't put too much stock in the pressures of the moment. Tomorrow is a new day and somewhere, somehow, someone will say something hilarious.
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